


Without Hope

by AceMcshane



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hope, Implied/Referenced Torture, Internal Conflict, Self-cest, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-25 09:32:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14375979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceMcshane/pseuds/AceMcshane
Summary: Missy stumbles out of a TARDIS back into the Doctors life after disappearing from the vault for two weeks. Her memories of where she has been are fading fast, but she wants to return to fix something she regrets. The Doctor goes back with her and discovers a double life she has been living for months. Once she encounters her past self who restores her memories she struggles to know where she stands. It's Twissy, with Master/Missy smut, but I do the right thing in the end - honest. It's mostly T rated - the one chapter that needs the M, is the Master/Missy smut, and I will warn you in the chapter notes as it's otherwise T.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finished the whole thing, as writing it was something of an outlet for me. When I go through crap I immerse into writing to help me deal, so I will upload it all asap, but do the first few to get it started. It is a eclectic journey of fluff, smut, angst, conflict, regret, dismay and tears, but I do the right thing with it all in the end. I figured I may as well share it as it’s a bit mad of me to write a 45k fic and not show it to anyone.
> 
> It’s season 10, and the first chapter sets the story up so we can cut to the chase. If just two people read this whole thing I’ll be pleased!!

_“Two weeks.”_

  _The Doctor woke to the sound of Nardole’s voice. Opening his eyes he instantly felt a flash of annoyance. “Yes, it’s been two weeks and before you say it, yes i’m sleeping in the vault again.”_ _Nardole opened his mouth to speak and the Doctor waved his hand to silence him before gesturing to the unoccupied chair._ _“Sit. Help me solve a mystery. How does a person get out of a vault if they haven't gone through the door.”_

_Nardole knew what the Doctor needed, so he just listened, waiting for him to bounce his thoughts off him. He didn't have to wait for long._

_“There is no way she had a vortex manipulator or any teleport device in here - I checked her the day I put her in here. And she hasn't been out shopping - she couldn't have built anything capable of teleport using the things in here - I didnt even let her have that four slice toaster she was so set on.”_

_Nardole looked puzzled. “About that…”_

" _Oh, you’d be surprised what she could do with one of those,” the Doctor said, before easing back into the chair, letting his gaze roam around the vault._ _“I might run some scans again - I've missed something. If I can just work out how she got out…”_

  _But still he couldn’t. Thankfully, when he was close to accepting that he might never solve the mystery she had left in her wake, everything changed._

  _He had been aware that he had been distracted by her increasingly lately, but now….now it was different. While he couldn't put a name to the multitude of conflicting feelings he held for her, the past two weeks had focused him significantly._ _Nardole was keeping a watchful distance, and for that the doctor was grateful. Bill who had already been full of questions was now all the more so however. But he couldn't explain it to them even if he tried._ _It was many things - the complicated and deep rooted feelings he held for his oldest friend being a major part of it. What she was doing - and why she was doing it were others._

_She hadn’t showcased her escape with some grand display of senseless destruction and chaos. Hadn’t given him so much as a hint as to what her motivation was - and so he was left wondering until she finally made her entrance back into his life, two weeks after she had left._

 

He had been alone in his office, trying to focus on marking a stack of essay’s when he accepted that he simply could not get on with normal life without her. He dropped his pen and sunk back into his chair, sighing in frustration. He was at a loss until a sound drew his attention sharply in the direction of his TARDIS. He stared confused, as the unmistakable sound of materialisation filled the room. Stunned at the unexpected turn, he rose quickly, little time to think as the form of a second TARDIS began to appear - so close to his that they were almost touching.

He stood motionless, not even noticing as Nardole entered the room. Barely hearing his raft of questions.

“Oh - look at that! For someone who says he's alone in the universe, this is starting to look like a Time Lord convention.”

Silence fell and the Doctor had not moved, his wary gaze fixed firmly on the TARDIS before him which had immediately formed the appearance of the bookcase behind it.

Nardole stepped closer and pointed toward the bookcase while casting a confused look to the Doctor, “Chameleon circuit’s working on that one then.”

The Doctor ignored his comment and Nardole shrugged and turned back to watch as the sound of a door opening drew their attention.

The Doctor watched as the bookcase facade partially faltered while the TARDIS interior came into view. He glimpsed only briefly, but what he saw of the dark interior while unfamiliar, gave him an unsettling feeling that he could not quite place.

“Hello?!” Called Nardole, “anyone home?”

The Doctor stepped forward immediately then froze, stunned, as Missy stumbled through the open door, falling first to her knees as she opened her hand, firmly pressing a button on a small device she held before looking at him with an expression that he had not seen her wear before - he had no time to place it as her eyes fluttered closed and she crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

Rushing to her side, the Doctor smoothed her hair from her face, noting with concern her dishevelled appearance and the reddish purple of a recent bruise on her cheek.

His head snapped back to the direction of the unknown TARDIS as the door slammed close, dematerialisation beginning immediately until the room was once again as it always was - one blue police box standing in the room.

The Doctor quickly slid his arms underneath her and lifted, one arm supporting her back and the other under her legs as he maneuvered her to the couch, placing her down carefully. With a frown, he walked back to his desk, opening the drawer and pulling out his sonic screwdriver.

Nardole bit his tongue, realising that the comment he wanted to utter about Missy needing more than a screwdriver to fix her, probably wouldn’t be welcomed right then.

“Well,” began the Doctor, as he crouched down next to Missy, scanning her, “wherever she's been, it’s for considerably longer than the two weeks she's been missing here….she’s several months older than she should be…”

He rose and placed his screwdriver into his breast pocket, before sitting down heavily on the chair beside the couch. “She's been gone for months - yet she came back here, sending back the TARDIS she came in, effectively stranding herself here,” he paused, and glanced at Nardole. “She’s the only one with the answers right now.”

Missy slept for two hours, the Doctor occupying himself on a computer, and periodically checking her vital signs. He was content that she was fine, and would be waking soon, but it made him feel that he was doing something for her.

He was focused on the screen, searching for major events that might seem out of place in earth’s timeline. Knowing that, with a TARDIS, she could have been gone for any length of time, the possibilities were endless.

“Are you _googling_ me Doctor?”

He spun around on his chair and felt a conflicting mixture of relief and suspicion as he locked eyes with her.

“Well - Is there anything I should know?” he asked.

Missy gave the briefest flicker of a sad smile, that he would have been unsure that he had actually seen had the sadness in her eyes not given it away. “Ask me then.”

The Doctor sighed and observed her with curiosity, not expecting a straight answer for a moment, “where have you been?” 

“Hatching evil plans, world domination, the usual stuff like that,” she said, nonchalantly.

“I don't believe you,” the Doctor said, making it clear he was not playing along. He felt a pang of concern as she broke eye contact with him.

She took a deep breath before meeting his gaze again, “well I AM the queen of evil Doctor, I was hardly out saving innocent lives now _was_ I?”

“We’ve talked often about this. You said you’d be honest if you wanted to leave. What am I supposed to do if you just break out of the vault? I can’t put you back in there - not until I've increased the security enough that I have at least a few weeks head start before you crack it.”

Missy felt a flash of pride. She always enjoyed it when he complimented her skills, “I’ll just have to promise to be good and pretend I don’t know how to bypass the mechanisms then.”

“This is not what we agreed Missy,” he said, his tone serious.

Missy gave him in an instant flirtatious look, “Oh I _do_ love it when you get all stern.”

The doctor sighed, realising he was getting nowhere, and took the briefest moment to observe her, taking in how dishevelled she appeared. She hadn't appeared to notice which concerned him - he didn't think he had ever seen her looking anything less than immaculate.

“Are you OK Missy?”

“Of COURSE I'm OK, oh look! Here’s your current favourite _pet_ ,” she paused. Her expression instantly hardened as she stared at Bill, the icy look in her eyes almost penetrating, while at the same time showing an obvious playful edge. “Can I _play_ with her?”

Bill froze in the doorway, her eyes fixing on Missy as she tensed visibly, taken aback by seeing her unexpectedly outside of the vault.

“It’s OK Bill,” the Doctor replied, as he turned to Missy, willing her to back down.

Missy fixed a cold gaze firmly on Bill, noting the obvious discomfort and tension emanating from her, “did I scare you love?” she said, casually turning her head to the Doctor, “quite bright this one.”

Bill shifted uncomfortably, but managed not to avert her gaze from Missy. Seeing her through a containment field was one thing, but unexpectedly being in the same room made Bill nervous, although she was determined not to let it show.

Missy locked eyes with her, her gaze intent and quickly becoming hypnotic, “I won't bite though,” she said, leaning forward and watching her, realising that Bill was fighting to look anywhere else but at her, yet couldn’t quite manage it, “I promised the doctor I wouldn't break his favourite toys.”

The Doctor was well aware that her sudden game with Bill was a massive ploy to distract them from whatever she was hiding. Obvious to him, but not so to Bill who was rapidly being toyed with.

"What bothers you dear?" she said, her gaze, like ice boring into Bill. "Your heart rate is shooting SO high."

Missy's gaze felt far too intense as Bill tried to formulate her thoughts, she seemed to be held in place and she couldn't break eye contact.  

"You're locked down there for a reason.....I mean, normal people...the Doctor... doesn't go about locking them in basements," Bill said.

 Missy laughed, taking great pleasure in the delightful reactions she was getting from Bill, "why of COURSE he _does_ !"  
  
"Wait..he does?" Bill said.  
  
"YES!, when he wants a new pet, he can't BEAR to part with the old one, so he locks them up so they are his forever. Just _wait_ till you see his collection - he gets _ridiculously_ attached to humans."  
  
The Doctor moved to Bill, noting her discomfort and stood in front of her, blocking her view of Missy. The last thing he wanted to risk was Missy playing with hypnosis. He would not allow her to use Bill for her amusement.

Missy gave an exaggerated look of disappointment at the Doctor for spoiling her fun.

Bill blinked and shook her head, glad to break eye contact with Missy, but confused as to why she had found it so hard to in the first place. Shaking off the thought, she turned to him, "do you have anyone else locked up?"  
  
The Doctor shook his head and glared at Missy, "no," he said firmly, “I do not. Stop winding her up Missy."  
  
Missy lounged back on the couch, draping her arm across the back casually, "oh hush, just tell her the truth."

Staring at Bill, her smile laced with an almost playful malice, she continued, enjoying herself far too much to stop.

"He has _so_ many cages for his pets in his TARDIS. Lets see, there's...Jo...and..oh yes - Nyssa...and _Jo_ ....well TOO many pets, and I can't be expected to learn all their names. _Imagine_ having a tank of fish and naming them all. I can't be bothered to learn all those names. They're all Jo’s and Nyssa’s to me," she said, waving her hand dismissively.  
  
Bill looked from Missy to the Doctor and back again.  
  
" _Enough_ Missy! Bill, she's the only one I have locked in a vault and there is good reason, believe me."  
  
Missy laughed, taking delight in not only unsettling Bill but ruffling the Doctors feathers too. She turned to the side, tilting her head towards Bill and whispered in an almost conspiritational tone, “just wait a while longer and he'll lock you up down there too _Jo_ ."  
  
"I'm not Jo, I'm Bill."  
  
Missy rolled her eyes in boredom, " _well_ I don't think there's been a Jo for a while, so you'll be a Jo. Regardless…” she paused, “he'll have you trapped soon too dear."  
  
" _Enough,_ " the Doctor said, raising his voice in frustration, "Bill, just ignore her."  
  
"That's...probably a good idea..." Bill said awkwardly.

Nardole walked back into the room, picking up on all the tension straight away, but choosing to ignore it as he walked over to Missy and handed her a mug.

Startled by the gesture, Missy stopped playing her game with Bill. She stared at the mug, confused at first, until Nardole placed it into her hands.

“Hot chocolate. It’s an earth thing, try it out, you might like it. I have a feeling you need it,” he said.

Taken aback, she paused, searching for a biting comment to hurl his way but feeling thrown. Instead, she met his eyes with a grateful smile. Her smile was gone just as soon as it appeared, but the genuine warmth the Doctor saw momentarily, struck him. He watched her as she warmed her hands on the mug, but took no move to drink the hot liquid. He observed her cautiously - her reaction to Nardole’s gesture was not at all expected. For all her threats that she would dismantle him if the mood took her, she never actually acted on her words. However, he was sure she had never openly showed genuine warmth to Nardole, whatever her underlying feelings might be, even in all the times that he had dutifully taken her (screened) shopping list and returned the next day laden with bags.  

It did not escape Nardole’s notice either, but he chose not to comment, deciding to let the two Time Lords work out whatever weirdness was going on without an audience. He turned, gesturing to Bill as he walked out. She hesitated then followed him, closing the door behind them and waiting until they were out of ear shot before moving to stand in front of Nardole.

He stopped and met her concerned eyes, “I don't like it either Bill, but we have to hope the Doctor knows what he's doing.”

“If she can get out of there anytime she wants - what does that mean? How dangerous is she?” Bill asked.

“Well, lets hope we don't find out,” Nardole replied. “For now, let’s leave this to the Doctor. With those two it’s never straightforward.”

Missy placed the mug down on the coffee table in front of her, her eyes focused on the Doctor, and with some degree of effort now that they were alone - she allowed her facade to slip.

“How long have I been gone?” she asked, her voice emotionless.

“Two weeks,” he sighed, “how long has it been for you?”

Missy’s eyes dropped to her mug on the table in front of her, “hard to say, linear time is tedious - maybe a year,” she said quietly.

The doctor was feeling considerably unsettled. Something had gone very wrong, not least of all that Missy as on the wrong side of the vault doors and had had a significant amount of time to do colossal damage if the mood took her. “How did you get out Missy?” he asked, his tone one of burning curiosity more than anything else.

She leaned forward and picked up her mug, tightening her hold and appearing to be attempting to maintain some warmth. She looked thinner and it bothered him. The Doctor fought the urge to offer her a blanket, or his coat.

“I couldn’t work out the coordinates so had to lock on to your TARDIS. I had intended to get back to the vault minutes after I had left...not to make this dramatic entrance,” she said, “but then shouldn’t an entrance _always_ be dramatic? I’d hate to be boring.”

“I don’t think boring is a word attributable to you,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re many things, but not boring. Missy...since you did mess up your discreet reentry, don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

“No,” she said simply.

The doctor watched her as she sighed, sinking back into the cushions as she enjoyed the warmth from the mug on her hands. As she settled, she flinched slightly while she shifted to get comfortable. A flash of concern shot through the Doctor.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, as he rose and walked over to her quickly, taking a seat on the couch beside her. His hand instinctively moved to lightly trace the bruise on her cheek, her eyes closing at the warmth of his touch, and an equally strong desire to evade eye contact.

The instant concern and tinge of gentleness in his tone made her feel immediately frustrated and annoyed, despite her need for his warmth. He could see through her, he knew she was not ok, and he was speaking to her with a cautious and concerned edge. She hated it. She hated that in his eyes she might appear weak in some way, but despite herself she could not push his hand away, not tell him to leave her alone. She wanted his contact, wanted his gentleness - a direct contrast to what she knew in her hazy memory that she had been craving - and that was all she could focus on.

“Missy, just tell me if you’re hurt - let me help you.”

When his plea was met with only silence, and her gaze fixed firmly on the frothy milk swirl that Nardole had topped off her still untasted hot chocolate with. He dipped his head, trying to meet her eyes, but she gave him no inch of response.

“You’re obviously hurt, and given your entrance, you ran, but you could have run anywhere. You got out of the vault, you had access to a TARDIS….but you came back here. Tell me why,” he asked, as he dropped his hand from her cheek.

“I could get out of the vault anytime if I wanted to, you don’t honestly think I was only in there because you deserve a gold star in security do you? But I didn’t. You must have tried to solve it - you would have scanned the room, checked the doors - and I wasn’t keeping a TARDIS hidden in there. I sent the one I came in back, but I made sure we couldn’t be traced. I came here to...to _you_ , back to you. I didn’t plan to leave but I chose to come back. I just...took care of a few things first.”

“What kind of things did you ‘take care of’?” he asked warily.

Missy took a deep breath, steeling herself and trying to focus on ridding herself of the emotion he could read too well by putting her mask back in place. Raising her head, she looked past him, not ready to meet his eyes as she did the best she could to make him back away and piss him off.

“I tortured a few people, made some children cry - probably could have kicked some puppies, but I didn’t find any, guess you can’t have _everything_. Never mind though, the day’s not over yet,” she paused then locked her eyes with his. Her gaze was cold and hardening by the second as she pulled herself together, continuing in a menacing tone.

“Can I have a _puppy_?”

The doctor sat outside the vault doors, his back against the hard surface. He couldn’t bring himself to go further once he had finally left her alone, so he had chosen instead to remain at her door. Whether this was an attempt to protect her, his friends _from_ her, or simply because he couldn't bear to leave her, he just didn't know.

He had stayed with her, watching intently as she went straight to her piano and started to play. Her notes were sad, mournful even, but she had never looked more at peace. He sat and listened to her for almost an hour, deciding to leave quietly so he would not disturb her.

He was startled however, when her playing abruptly stopped and she rose, watching him with a flash of something in her eyes that was gone so quickly, he could not place it.

“Be a dear and put the containment field up,” she said casually.

He frowned, “with you in it?”

“ _Yes_ , if you don’t mind,” she said simply, as she sat back down and carefully turned the pages of her music sheets, focusing on anything but him.

“Why would you want to be confined in here? What if something comes up and I don't come back right away? You’d be stuck inside.”

“Doctor,” she said, closing the piano lid carefully as she turned to face him, crossing her legs and smoothing her skirt down, noticing for the first time, with disgust, how wrinkled and dirty her favourite outfit was.

“I want the containment field up, or I won't remain in here, and if I have to go to all the trouble of breaking out, i’ll be feeling rather cross at the inconvenience. We both know THAT won't end well. Believe me, it’s much, _much_ easier to deactivate from the inside - but let’s pretend I didn’t tell you that, shall we? Now be a dear and just _contain_ me.”

He activated the containment field, despite his hearts hurting at the concept of restricting her even more than she already was in the vault.

“We are going to talk about this Missy,” he said, as he turned to leave.

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that, and Doctor?”

“Yes,” he replied wearily.

“I’ll be expecting that _puppy_.”

He saw through her, of course he did. He knew her too well, but she wasn’t letting him in, so he had no choice but to give her some space for a while. He’d be damned if he was going farther than the doors though, and so he stayed put, pulling a book from his jacket pocket and settling on the hard floor to read.

He woke awkwardly, his neck hurting, as he looked up at the confused figure in front if him. Realising that he had slept, a not too frequent occurrence for a Time Lord, he felt almost embarrassed at having done so on the floor, but Nardole didn't seem phased.

“Did she talk about it?” he asked, curiosity too much to bear.

“No, just to announce that she's tortured people and has a strong desire to kick puppies….” he sighed as he ran a hand down his face. “She’s trying hard to hide something, and I just wish I knew why. I just want to help her Nardole. I really don't like this at all.”

“Yeah, well keeping a mass murdering Time Lord in the basement was never going to be _simple_ , but she did seem _very_ off,” Nardole said, offering the Doctor his hand. “Come on, sitting here won't  give you any answers, but there’s a hall full of restless students waiting for you, so off you go.”

The Doctor took his hand and let him pull him up to his feet, before beginning to turn way. Pausing, he glanced at Nardole, a question forming on his lips.

Nardole sighed, “fine. I’ll stay by the door, But i’m getting a book and a comfy chair.”

 The Doctor smiled his thanks as Nardole moved off to find a chair, muttering in annoyance, “not in my job description.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dawn rose. The doctor stood at the window of his office, the doors to the TARDIS open, and the familiar comforting hum of his oldest companion, a constant in the room. 

He wondered if Missy was watching too. She would see a projection, but perfectly synchronised to the real world. He leaned against the window frame, lost in his thoughts as he watched the orange of the sunrise on the horizon. He felt lonely at times like those, and he found himself yearning for her. Wanting to bring her up to his office and show her the real sunrise, feel the warmth of the sun through the open window, take her hand and tell her, even if he didnt do so in words, that he believed in her. But he felt a fool as he watched the new day begin, because she was on the cusp of realisation and change but she was not there yet and she would not see the same beauty he did. He feared that her heart would feel only a yearning for a burning star, and not the hope of a new dawn.

He readied himself instead for the battle he knew he had to have, to get her to open up to him. He couldn't allow her to imprison herself in the containment field, with no explanation as to why.  If she wasnt safe he had to know why, and who was coming for her...and where she had been for almost a year.

So he decided to throw her completely off guard, and he borrowed a puppy.

She couldn't hide her astonishment as he walked into the vault with a fidgety, fluffy little mess of cuteness in his arms.

He found it amusing how hard she tried to suppress the spontaneous joy that shone for a brief moment in her eyes.

“Oh good,” she said, her voice forcibly cold and not all that convincing, “you brought breakfast.”

The Doctor wasn't backing down and she knew it. He was forcing her to break her resolve by throwing her with surprise cuteness.

She was  _ not _ going to react.

“His name’s Max,” the Doctor said, closing the door behind him.

“Well that’s a stupid name for a puppy. What can he possibly accomplish with a name like Max?” she shook her head in disgust, “Axel suits him better.”

Without speaking he walked over to the containment field and deactivated it, stepping up onto the platform, his arms outstretched, thrusting the happy little ball of fluff into her arms.

She melted in an instant and laughed. His heart leapt at the way her eyes lit up with surprise and delight. She was unguarded, natural and bore no hint of agenda. It was rare that he saw that side of her and he felt grateful that she was letting him share the moment.

Missy smiled broadly at the puppy who seemed to quickly stop wriggling and settle happily in her arms. The Doctor smiled warmly at her as the dog licked her face and wagged its tail furiously. He took a moment to steal a glance at her appearance without her noticing - certainly her energy was not flagging given her reaction to the puppy, but she certainly seemed fatigued and pale. However, she spoke animatedly, praising the puppy for nothing in particular but the dog lapped up the attention and they were instant friends.

Eventually she sat on the floor, repeatedly throwing a ball while the still excited puppy ran off to bring it back to her. The dog showed no signs of growing bored with the game, and Missy eventually turned to the Doctor.

“Can I keep him?”

He smiled at the innocence in her question, and almost hated that he had to take the dog back.

“I borrowed him, but the owners are away a lot in the next months and they need a dog sitter - I volunteered Nardole to take him for walks….must tell him that….but I can bring him to see you if you’d like that.”

“Well I’m sure he would cause all sorts of destruction if he was left alone so it’s really just very nice of me to look after him,” she said.

The Doctor smiled at her, “yes, I can see it’ll be a huge imposition but I think you’ll probably cope somehow.”

She laughed again - and her eyes sparkled. He wanted to steal moments like these between them and keep them forever. She was different - so much different that she had been decades previously, and what was growing between them - the deep rooted shreds of friendship - was strengthening and rebuilding more and more despite the ground still being so shaky between them.

He reminded himself daily not to let his guard totally down however. She had told him once, along time before she left, that she didn't even know the reasons for some of her actions - some of the deaths she had caused. Perhaps she was just bored.

There was a huge potential for boredom in the vault - so he brought her the piano.

He brought her more and more things, especially lately - and her lists of requests was growing longer and more frequent. Sometimes he wasn't sure if he was arriving at the vault with bags containing as many of her requests as possible, because he wanted her to have everything she needed - or because he was at least on some level, afraid of what she was capable of if she became bored.

In his six month absence however, he hadn’t returned to any kind of disaster she had caused. She had simply waited for him - and he always felt a pang of guilt when thinking about how she must have felt being alone for that long with no explanation.

Whatever feeling lay between them however, he focused on the moments where she was happy. When things between them were light, without conflict and he could see their friendship repairing.

“I don’t know why you bother with humans when you could just fill your TARDIS with puppies. So much less hassle and SO much more grateful,” she said.

“Humans have an amazing capacity for hope, love, loyalty - they are worth it Missy, believe me.”

Missy did not respond and shook her head as she threw the ball, watching as the puppy scampered after it excitedly.

“You married a human,” he said, cautiously.

Missy’s head whipped around, her eyes meeting his with a sudden ferocity, “don’t, Doctor. Why do you always ruin the moment.”

“Because I always have a myriad of questions in my head and sometimes they jump out without me intending. But as that one did - did you feel anything for her?” he asked, trying to push her into honesty. “She served a purpose for the sake of appearances, I know that, but all that time you spent with her - was it ever anything more?”

“It was a very long time ago,” she simply said.

The Doctor frowned, “how long? How much older than him are you?

“I don’t keep count of the decades any more. Besides - i’m not telling you all my juicy secrets Doctor,” she paused and quickly pushed the conversation back in it’s previous direction. “She was loyal to me, she had a hunger for the power I showed her, and she had  _ great _ hair - but then she shot me, so that kind of killed it for me.”

She paused, a sudden but obviously forced humour colouring her words. “Do you see what I did there? ‘She killed it for me’?” she paused expectantly, “Doctor? Good humor is just lost on you sometimes.”

He shook his head and they both remained silent as he watched her throw the ball, her features softening as she kept her eye on the puppy, the sound of it’s excited scampering echoing through the vault. He accepted that she had closed that line of conversation down and he respected that she didn’t want him to press her about it.

“This is a hell of a way to prove a point though,” she said suddenly.

“I’m not proving anything. I just…. wanted to see you smile.”

She met his eyes with shock, then warmth flooded her features before she looked away and focused on steeling herself, “next time I escape, i’ll go for _two_ _years_ instead, then I might get my pony.”

“We both know you need to explain how you got out.”

“And we both know that’s not going to happen,” she replied curtly.

He looked at her in exasperation, not willing to back down this time, but realising he would not have an easy road.

“Doctor,” she said, her voice softening again, but laced with fatigue, “I’m not ‘sharing.’ I’m sorry, but I simply can't.  _ But  _ I’m going to tell you this and you are not going to like it. I don’t  _ particularly _ like it either. It’s foggy - I just know that I planned to come back, to stay here, in this vault, play my piano, endure your endless stories and move on, but I can’t. I’m exhausted, and I need to recover and then I need to return, just momentarily, to finish what I put in motion - and then I promise to be good and stay put, but I  _ have to  _ finish this. I just have to rest and regain some...focus.”

She smirked, attempting to divert his focus from the serious tone of her words, “so I came back to the vault for a little holiday.”

The Doctor took her hand, and his other cupped her chin gently in an attempt to prevent her from turning away from him, his heart's hammering in anticipation as he spoke.

“It’s foggy? You’re telling me you can’t remember where you've been? Did you really torture people or were you trying to antagonise me?”

Her silence was infuriating as she held his gaze, before her hand reached up, covering his, pulling his hand from her chin and moving it to her cheek, leaning into his touch. “What do  _ you _ think? Tell me Doctor,” she continued, as she brought his hand slightly away from her, turning her head and placing a kiss in the centre of his palm before letting go.

“What do you believe I did? Who do you think I am? Because I will never turn into  _ you _ \- my moral compass is of my own making, and I will  _ always _ make the choices that you could never bring yourself to. Is that bad by your definition? Is that wrong? Or is that  _ balance _ ?”

“Missy, if you really tortured people then of course that's wrong - of  _ course  _ that's bad, how can it be anything else? If you have to debate whether torture is wrong then I fear I’m failing you. I'm not trying to replace your moral compass entirely, nor am I trying to change you, at your heart's. I just want you to reach inside and find who you were - the person you can be, and you could be  _ so much  _ \- I want to help you do that. You can't just escape when you feel like it to torture and kill people!”

“Then you need to look at me, really look and make your mind up. Do you think I hurt any of your precious squishies? Have you  _ googled _ again, for paths of destruction you could attribute to me? My path will always be forged alone and there will always be chaos in my wake. My methods will never mimic yours because I am  _ not _ you, but do you think my methods, my intent..my  _ desire, _ could ever be forged in something other than darkness and death?” she paused, taking a deep breath.

The doctor watched her, giving her time to focus her thoughts, hoping she would keep going and continue  unravelling her thoughts to him.

“Can you be certain of yourself?” he asked. “If you can't remember, how can you be sure what you've done?”

“I have flashes of memories - feelings,  it’s impossible to piece together and try to hold on to though. I  _ don’t know _ \- so could you consider, even for a moment, that my intentions may not have been completely evil?”

“I want to believe that, you know I do, but you’re not telling me what you  _ do  _ remember _ , _ you wont explain any of this except to joke about torture, so how can I? How can I see that you're truly changing at your hearts? I believe there is goodness in your hearts, I just don't know if you can let it out and embrace it yet.”

Missy turned away from him, losing the struggle against her tears.

He hated it when she cried - in some ways it was good - a sign that she was feeling things on a level she hadn’t done in her other regenerations, but he always fought the instinctive urge to reach for her. A need to embrace her and hold her in his arms, stroke her hair and show her how it felt to be cared for - it was a hard battle not to give in to his instincts. Sometimes he questioned why he even did. Maybe he was more afraid of the power she had over his hearts.

“Why can’t you just explain - something, anything. Give me something!”

“Doctor, I’m sure I would bare my soul to you if I could - it’s not quite...there. It’s all rather hazy and If this continues then I think i’ll know about as much as you do before long.”

“But how much  _ can _ you remember?”

“Oh, well. Bits and pieces, here and there. But I do know that I wasn’t intending to burn any  _ entire _ worlds up, so it can’t be all bad,” she said with a forced cheerfulness.

The doctor paused, and his own thoughts then started racing, wondering how much he should be reading into her words.

“Recover...you said you had to recover…” he spoke quickly, his thoughts gathering speed as he tried to put it together…”you’re hurt, that much is obvious, but how? Why wont you just explain that?”

Missy shrugged, “because I can’t remember.”

The Doctor looked at her quizzically, “yes, but why? Why can’t you remember?”

She casually drifted her gaze away from him, “you’re asking me if I _ remember _ why I can’t  _ remember _ . Those aren’t the right questions. Really Doctor, try again.”

He looked at her in exasperation, until a thought suddenly struck him, “you didn't go out of the door...you didn’t walk out of here Missy and you said you didn't _plan_ to leave. ”

He stood up, pacing the floor in front of her as she focused on him with interest.

She watched him trying to work it out, feeling his mind trying to piece it together, “oh now you’re getting somewhere Doctor, keep going, I  _ love it  _ when you get excited.”

Internally, she worked hard to control the flood of tears threatening to burst free and betray her mere moments after she had composed herself again. Her plan to return to the vault, her absence unnoticed, and have a long bath, sleep in her bed and spend the afternoon playing her piano, turning her back on the past year, had gone totally wrong. She knew as soon as she regained consciousness on the Doctors couch, that she could not simply return and leave it all in the murky shadows of her past. She had a role to play and she would play it to the end. She just didn't like the blurry memory recall that seemed to be fogging her mind further and further the longer she waited, confusing her as to what her role actually was.

“ _ Go back _ . How can you go back - can you recall that TARDIS?” he asked.

“No,” she said simply, watching him intently, waiting for realisation to dawn on him.

“Do you have a vortex manipulator, a teleport device - anything?”

“No my love, just a piano and infrequent but  _ mildly _ entertaining visitors.”

“Then...how were you planning on returning?” he asked.

She shrugged, “well, I stole  _ that _ TARDIS, so thought I might just,  _ steal yours _ .”

The Doctor glowered, his gaze remaining fixed on her as he digested her admission. She watched him processing her words as she scooped up the puppy, kissing its head before putting it back on the floor, its paws thumping quickly on the smooth floor as it dashed about, exploring the unfamiliar space.

“That, Missy, is not going to happen. Do you think I haven’t already taken precautions in case you got out of here? The most you could do is get inside.”

She raised an eyebrow and watched him with a flash of amusement,“oh please don't insult me! Do you think I couldn’t get past your defences Doctor? I have nothing but time on my hands after all, I would break through eventually.”

“Yes,” he sighed, “I don’t doubt that you would,  _ in time.  _ Whose TARDIS was it? Where did you get it?”

“Wish I knew,” she shrugged.

He stopped pacing and faced her, “you need to go back but you need to recover first...so this is what we’re going to do. You’re not stealing my TARDIS, and you’re not doing this alone. You're going to let me scan you, find any injuries and heal them - sorry but I'm not letting you bluff your way back to wherever you've been before you're ready, then when I am certain you are healed enough, we are taking my TARDIS and i'm going with you. Maybe I won't agree with you, maybe I will - there’s only one way to find out, but I  _ do  _ believe in you Missy, and my only compass here will be that - the faith I have in the goodness I know is in you.”

She stared at him in silence, her eyes widened and her heart's thumping. She stood and stepped closer to him, stopping inches apart.

“Ok,” she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes, barely controlled, “but I have a feeling you're not going to like this….you’ll reach a point where you’ll lose that faith. I’m just...not sure why.”

She closed the remaining distance between them as she rested her head against his chest, and she hated that he responded by freezing, stunned by her sudden closeness, but she exhaled in relief, as after a few moments his arms encircled her, holding her to him.

Feeling relieved himself that he had not pushed her away and allowed himself to respond in the way he wanted to, he stepped more boldly over the line and he leant down, placing a single kiss on her head.

“Let me in Koschei, just let me in and let me help you. I won't lose faith. I  _ do  _ believe in you.”


	3. Chapter 3

He had relocated the TARDIS to the vault and Missy entered with a deep breath and a firm push to the door. 

She was surprised she had got in so easily, but she was grateful not to have drama from a temperamental TARDIS who undoubtedly bore a grudge toward her.

The doctor watched her as she rounded the console slowly, eyeing the controls with obvious interest.

“There is a flaw in your optimistically blind plan you know,” she said casually.

“Which is?” he replied.

“Your TARDIS will be detected, it’s a totally different entity, it’ll be noticed as soon as we arrive, even if I  _ did _ tweak your chameleon circuit.”

“It doesn't need tweaking, it works just fine.”

“I  _ know _ you could fix it in thirty seconds if you really wanted to - and if I admit it, I like it - it's very…” she paused, trying to find the right word…” _ you _ .”

He raised an eyebrow at her words, but didn't respond, waiting instead for her to continue.

“My TARDIS can get in without so much as a ripple. Before you ask,  _ yes _ , I have upgraded the systems significantly more than you have - your priority clearly isn't maintenance, but it’s not that…..my TARDIS won't leave a trace, because it has already been there.”

The Doctor tensed, confused, “Missy, I thought that wasn’t your TARDIS...how did you get to it in the first place?”

She returned his gaze with an expression he could not read, taking time before responding.

“No, no Doctor. My TARDIS is on earth - in a sleepy little village in England. It’s been there since I created my very unappreciated _ birthday gift _ for you. I wasn’t going to leave something so valuable anywhere near the heat of the action, because it had already sustained some damage. We need to go and get it, replace one  _ teensy _ component, and then fly in nice and covertly.”

The doctor remained silent, his head starting to hurt as he tried to make sense of her words.

“The TARDIS you came back in Missy...where did it come from? You have to give me something here - I am going into this trusting you, but I can't help you effectively if you talk in circles and won't tell me anything I can work with. I don’t think you’re telling me everything that you  _ can _ remember.”

She looked down at the controls, trying to keep her emotions in check before taking a steadying breath and raising her head to meet his eyes.

“I barely even remember arriving here now. I can’t explain it - that’s just faded. I know i’ve hurt people, but I make no apologies to you about that, because they are collateral damage for a far greater purpose. They're not your mission...not your pets to run and save when they wander off.”

He stepped closer, shaking his head, “people are not ‘collateral damage’ Missy, they’re... _ people _ .”

“I know I’ve done things you wouldn’t be happy about, whether I would share that...regret my actions, I can't tell you. Does that make me bad? A monster? Well that all depends on who is judging me, but its the only way I could do what needed to be done. In your eyes does that mean I haven't changed? That I'm beyond helping? Because I don't apologise for it. It's not,  _ nothing _ to me. I've fought on and on wearing one face that terrifies and creates pain just to keep the _ possibility _ alive that things could end differently. I could have left when I got inside that TARDIS, but I didn't. I need to keep going, and I will do it until my betrayal is obvious or it all blows up spectacularly.”

The Doctor had begun to look alarmed, she clearly had greater memory recall than she had confessed to, and yet it still left him with far more questions than answers, but he had enough to feel very worried.

“Who are you betraying Missy?” he asked, as he rounded the console and approached her.

“I don't know,” she whispered, “in all honesty, I just don’t.”

The Doctor remained silent, unsure how to respond while he processed her words, and tried to make sense, unpicking the threads she was leaving him with in his mind.

“But it’s not all blank you know some of what you've done -  so tell me something,” he said.

She looked away, her eyes drifting to the console. “My memory is hazy in places - I’m trying to keep hold of it - but it's fading SO fast. I remember enough to know what I've done in these past months….but the specifics...the detail, it just isn't there. I can't say why that is.”

With a sigh, The Doctor activated his screwdriver, moving it slowly as he took a few seconds to scan her. Placing it on the console, he looked at the screen, watching as the TARDIS compiled a medical report.

Missy watched him warily, her expression instantly guarded as he scrutinised the screen. Finding the silence unbearable, she walked around, standing next to him and following his increasingly worried gaze to the screen. She read the results with curiosity.

“It’s nothing that can't be fixed easily…. by the looks of it... and I accept that you won't want to leave for 2 or 3 days now you've seen this, but I will be very  _ very _ good and listen to my doctor,” she said, with a slight tease to her smile.

The Doctor turned to her, placing his hands on her shoulders firmly but gently.

“Missy,” he said, you've been hurt - more than once - and you are very malnourished and dehydrated - if you tell me how it happened...at least give me that so I can even _ begin _ to help you…”

“Now now Doctor, can't a girl have _ some _ secrets,” she quipped, realising at once that the confident humor she had tried to convey was simply not there at that moment. Her voice sounded unconvincing, and she hated herself for not being able to hide herself. “I don't remember….but the physical injuries don’t look serious - it’s just standard battle damage, i’ll be fine in no time.”

“We need to find out what caused your memory loss - I don't like this,” he said.

Missy shrugged and waved her hand dismissively, “i'm sure it’ll come back to me.”

“I need to know where we’re going,” he stated. Meeting her eyes, he immediately noticed how rapidly guarded she was becoming.

She shook her head with an almost apologetic look on her face.

“Just give me what you can - enough that I avoid stumbling into whatever you are mixed up in and causing havoc with your carefully formed plans.”

“Oh Doctor, your havoc is  _ exactly _ what I need, ” she said with a suddenly bright smile that he found disarming.

Realising her distraction he shook his head, focusing.

“ _ Where _ . Missy,” he repeated, louder, making it clear he was not backing down.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, one hand leaning against the console, steadying her as her weariness started to overcome her.

“We’re going to  Agroria 2,” she said,  “a small, insignificant planet in an insignificant part of the cosmos. There is a growing army of very hungry, very powerful creatures below its surface. They were dying, asleep for a millennia deep under the earth, but now they are rousing, and they are hungry. They will keep on devouring until they’re strong enough, and then, when they rise up,” she paused, the slight excitement in her voice unmistakable, “the raw power simply  _ dripping _ from their life force can be harnessed...and  _ oh _ ...what power they will have.”

The Doctor watched her carefully, taking in the distinct yearning in her voice. He didn't comment, but it concerned him - the part of her clearly craving the power that could be tapped into.

“And...you’re the one whose feeding them?” he asked, finding himself with even more questions than he started off with.

“Well,” she said, “yes and no, no and yes. I’ve fed them, and I've starved them, and I've danced  _ all  _ over the ground when I feel the throb of their hearts getting stronger beneath me. That power is building, and when you feel that vibration on the ground, you know what’s coming….it’s.. _.intoxicating _ .”

“Why do you starve them then? If they have this source of immense power - why are you not on their good side?”

Because Doctor,” she said, “I’ve lived in this dark, desperate place for months now, and the sounds….the screaming, the begging...the fear,” she looked away, unable to look him in the eye all of a sudden.

“Humans are blips - brief flickers that are out before they even start really, I’ve never understood your fascination with them. But they make such awful sounds when they are being marched to their slaughter. It’s really quite...unpleasant.”

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide at her words, seemingly uttered so casually, but he tried to hold on to the meaning - what was under the surface.

“The people...are what these creatures are devouring,” he said, closing his eyes in disgust.

“Yes,” she whispered, “all that’s left of the planet is a huge death camp - they’ve devoured every other resource, the people fought and hid and did all that desperate pointless panicking that humans tend to do, but now they’re all that’s left to eat.”

He stepped directly in front of her, “Missy, look at me.”

She averted her gaze to the wall behind him.

“ _ Look _ at me,” he repeated.

She casually allowed her eyes to flit to his but returned immediately to focus on the wall.

“How many people have you killed there?” he said, the words barely audible as he forced them out.

“Define ‘kill’,” she said, as her eyes met his for the briefest moment once more.

“Define kill?!” he said, astounded.

“Causing death, through action, inaction, using a weapon, a device, your mind, your hands...you know if you’re responsible for a death Missy! Now don't play games and  _ answer me, _ because if you’ve left a death toll behind you I promise you, this will be the last time you see the outside of the vault for the next 930 years.”

“ _ Well, _ as you’ve sweetened the offer so nicely, of course I will confess to  _ every _ transgression since I left.”

“Murder isn't a transgression!” he said, his anger growing.

Her breath hitched as she fought back a sudden flood of tears that she cursed herself for allowing to rush to the surface so quickly.

“I’ve put my hands on people and hurt them, I am certain of that, but taking them to their death directly?  _ I can’t say _ . I remember theatrics - they didn't realise that when I told them to scream - I meant it. I didn't want to  _ make _ them scream, but if they sounded realistic then I could dispose of them quickly. But it will change very soon,  _ because of me  _ \- and I know it needs to just...all go up in smoke...”

The Doctor felt an instant wave of nausea at her choice of words,  _ “dispose _ of them? You don't want to hurt them but then you  _ dispose _ of them? Missy what the hell have you been doing?”

“Oh Doctor, why assume the worst most evil plan you can imagine?”

“Because that’s what you  _ do _ Missy!” he said, his voice rising in frustration.

“I dispose of them through a  _ hatch _ \- it leads to tunnels and I keep them all there until I can move them. That much I do remember, but I can barely visualise it now. My memories are slipping fast.”

“You’re...saving them.  _ Saving _ them?” he asked in obvious astonishment.

Missy shifted uncomfortably, not enjoying being the focus of such an array of excited emotion coming from the Doctor.

“They can't know until they are safe - they'd mess it up - expose me, so they don't know i’m not going to kill them until the moment they go through the hatch...or I push them down it, they tend not to have a whole lot of trust in me at that point and I’ve got to get them down there  _ somehow _ . There’s hardly time to waste negotiating. I've hurt many of them, in many ways, and I didn't enjoy it Doctor, honestly,  _ most of the time I didn't…. _ but I had to maintain the facade. I had to leave no doubt that I was what I was expected to be - cold, vicious - torturing them to test an experiment -  _ fine tuning _ a process.” She paused, taking a steadying breath.

“I don't claim to be a hero here Doctor, that’s your kink - I’m FAR from it. My  _ choices  _ and my... _ talents _ have caused death, and the death toll is about to get higher. Streamlining - no point getting my hands dirty when the entire process can be automated.”

“Missy,” he began, almost stumbling over his words as he processed their conversation with a growing dread,  _ “automated?” _

“I just want to go back and end it - stop what’s happening and get the rest of them out of there. Erase a mistake.”

“You know more than you are admitting to   and that is plain unsettling. But you were trying to save people? Honestly Missy - is that the truth?”

She met his eyes briefly, the hope he was allowing to rise up was directed right at her and it made her uneasy. She simply did not know whether he should hold such hope for her.

“As far as I remember,” she said, before she once again looked away.

He knew there was a very good chance that this wasn't going to end well - but despite the thirst for power, he saw something else. She was different, the shift was there and her admissions felt honest. To really understand why, maybe going with her was the only way he could ever grasp that change - whatever level it was truly on.

He cautiously placed his hand on her cheek and gently moved her face toward him, his hand was instantly wet with her tears, but she felt raw, open and desperate for him to see her truth - so she allowed herself to meet his eyes.

“Let’s do that then,” he said, looking in her eyes searchingly, “let’s end it, together.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fluffier chapter before it starts to go... a lot less fluffy.

Two days passed by - Missy was restless, so the Doctor moved her piano into the TARDIS. He was quite pleased with the room he had created for it - he knew she would love the oasis it made. He started with one room for her but it evolved fast, the more he found he was thinking about what lay ahead for them both, and what she was still, undoubtedly neglecting to tell him, the more he occupied himself in creating something. 

He was annoying her every time he scanned her - his constant fussing and glances of concern. He had stopped listening to Nardole’s protests, and constant protestations that Missy being in the TARDIS was a Very Bad Idea.

She was asleep on the second morning - a fact that the Doctor was pleased about as it meant she was healing. Her physical injuries were not a concern for him as such, there was nothing serious, but even a Time Lord needed sustenance and her body needed to recover from a total absence of it. Why she was so run down was a niggling worry that he couldn’t shake. Looking after herself had always been a given - the Master survived. Always. So what had gone wrong?

He occupied himself while she slept by using the time to work on his surprise for her without her watching him, trying to figure out what he was up to.

She woke to discover her room now led to a hallway lit with oil lamps, a door leading off into several rooms, furnished and decorated beautifully. He was waiting in the room at the end of the hallway, he had to see her reaction, had to know she liked it.

He felt relieved when he saw her smile - first in wonder then in appreciation as she scanned the room, turning in circles as she took it all in, before stopping and looking at him with such warmth and appreciation in her smile.

A sanctuary in an exquisitely designed Victorian parlour, her piano at the centre, with huge doors opening to a vast expanse of ornate gardens. It matched the vision in his head perfectly and he was pleased that the TARDIS had created something so beautiful. 

A part of him felt that the TARDIS was approving of his belief in Missy - something he did not get from Nardole or Bill. He understood their concern, but his heart told him a different story and he could not look at Missy in the same way they did. He always saw something more - whatever she did, even picking through the wreckage of the chaos that lay in her wake - he always saw something more.

"You’ve been busy while I’ve been sleeping Doctor,” she said, as she walked over to him, stopping directly in front of him.

“You like it?”

“Love it,” she said with a playful whisper. His hearts warmed at the happy sound of her voice, her genuine appreciation and joy that she took no care to hide from him at that moment.

“I trust my instinct Missy, and I’m rarely wrong…”

“Oh you  _ are _ boastful Doctor,” she said with a small giggle, diverting the conversation away from his not so subtle attempt at wanting her to talk again as she placed her finger on his lips, silencing him.

She laughed and he wasn't sure whether she was genuinely happy, or distracting him, until he noticed the light in her eyes. He _ had _ made her happy.

He closed his eyes momentarily and smiled at the sound of her laughter - warmth cascaded through him when she was happy.

“Stay here for another day - just enjoy this, and then...we’ll do what you need to do...but we need to talk about this more - I don't for a minute imagine you have told me everything.”

“Let’s not talk,” she said with a smile, as she spun around, enjoying the realistic breeze billowing at the curtains framing the manicured gardens. “A day. An entire day, but  _ you _ Doctor, are spending it with me.”

He fought the urge to reach out and put his arms around her - now that he had held her once, it was an almost impossible task not to do it again. He had spent two days doing little else than working on creating a contained, yet seemingly free paradise just for her. Assuming that they now embraced - that holding each other was a given - might be a step too far - and he did not want to risk it. If she reacted coolly, the momentum in his heart would be stilled, and he thought that would hurt with a ferocity, so instead he watched her, and smiled, hoping that she would open her mind just a little, let him glimpse what was bubbling at the surface.

Her barriers were fortified however, and he could not peer inside.

They had walked down through the immaculate gardens, her hand casually slipping into his along the way. He responded by gently squeezing her hand as he smiled.

He pushed aside the question in his head of whether they should be strolling hand in hand through his TARDIS. He knew that he was falling headlong into the moment but he wanted to believe that what was blossoming between them was real - a contrast to the artificial paradise around them.

They climbed over an old wooden style and into a much more unkempt field, with willow trees and a stream in sight in the distance. Missy was delighted - the contrast was perfection in itself for her. She adored the ornate beauty of the gardens, but she relished being in the wilder, unpredictable ground beyond it.

The Doctor watched her with a smile as she let go of his hand and stopped to unlace her boots, removing them and then looking for a place to put them so she would not be searching in the overgrown grass. She opted for a rocky area closer to the stream and she broke into a run as she headed for it.

As he watched her, he allowed himself to absorb the moment. She was undeniably happy - immersing herself into the moment as if it were real and not a TARDIS simulation. He felt a pang of regret laced with guilt, that he had not taken her somewhere - so she could run under a real sky, feel a real breeze on her skin. He had bio locked her into the TARDIS and limited her access to the more important areas, safeguarding his TARDIS and himself...just in case, but found himself creating more and more rooms that she could access to compensate for anything he restricted her from.

He watched her as she balanced on the rocks, unbuttoning her jacket and slipping it off, folding it very carefully before placing it down on a dry rock next to her boots. She was never more beautiful than when she was unrestricted - that had always been the way, many lives ago on Gallifrey, when he looked at her through different eyes, and she wore a very different body - that freedom and spark that she possessed was always there.

He had imagined them so, so many times, over so many years, travelling together - even allowed himself shreds of hope that they could draw closer once again, and share what they had lost. Every time, the Master left him wondering whether he was a fool to keep hoping, to never truly give up on somebody.

He couldn't help it. The two of then - they were always so intrinsically tied together, and they always returned to the same point - on opposite sides but always facing each other. Maybe this time, it could be different. Missy was stealing his heart and he was letting her.

Her explanations were confusing, but if she truly wanted to change, to save lives, then his hope surged that she had a growing compassion that she wasn't sure how to handle. He allowed himself to cling on to the hope that she was motivated by positive reasons - by an underlying sense of compassion and regret. Wasn't that what he wanted all along? Was that not a sign of the goodness within her?

When he finally caught up with her, she had sat down on the grassy bank next to the stream and was skimming stones along the water.

She looked up at him and smiled, “you took your time.”

“I was thinking,” he said, as he sat down next to her, realising all at once that he had sat much closer than he intended to, but his body seeming unable to resist her pull.

“Well now what do you want to go and do  _ that _ for? It’s a perfectly nice day and you’re going to go and ruin it by thinking,” she paused and laid back, “can’t you just... _ be _ .”

Watching her, he noted that she had much more colour to her complexion, her previous pallor reduced dramatically.

“You look better - but your body was seriously depleted - you haven't taken care of yourself, and that worries me,” he said with concern.

“Ah, well. I wouldn't go making wild assumptions there Doctor. Made a mistake. Blew a circuit and had no food or water - went from gourmet luxuriance on tap to not even having clean water from quite some time - I didn't have the parts to fix it.”

“That’s not like you - you can repair anything.”

“No doctor, that’s  _ exactly _ like me. Over ambition cost me dearly. Not all my plans are as perfect as I let you see. Wouldn’t impress you much if I showcased my mistakes as well.”

“And yet you are - with this one.”

“Well, not trying to impress you with this one. You’re just dead set on me not  _ stealing  _ your TARDIS and tagging along.”

The Doctor sighed and shrugged off his jacket mirroring her earlier action, folding it carefully before placing it on the dry grass next to him. Her gaze was fixed on the clouds above her, but she was well aware of his movements.

Laying down beside her, their shoulders almost touched as he followed her gaze to the clouds.

She shuffled the fraction of an inch remaining between them and leaned her head towards his shoulder. In an instant, he shifted, bringing up his arm and slipping it under her, pulling her closer. He couldn't help it - it just felt so natural.

Her eyes closed as she nestled against his shoulder.

“I love this,” she whispered, barely audibly.

He smiled, his words tumbling out before his head had a chance to stop them. “After we’ve...done what we need to...maybe we could take a trip.”

She placed her hand on his chest, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, “where?” she asked, a mixture of confusion and apprehension clouding her voice, “I thought you were never letting me out again.”

“It was wrong of me to throw a threat like that at you,” he said.

Before he knew what he was doing, he had placed a kiss on her head.

She hesitated only briefly before she turned her head, meeting his eyes.

He kissed her. Lightly, gently, and with a tenderness that she was not used to. She didn't respond right away, stunned at first.

He froze then, wondering if he had gone too far, and only relaxed when he felt her hand still on his chest, her touch assuring him that this intimacy was ok.

“Plus the audacity to think that I would be unable to solve a relatively simple puzzle such as a lock. SHAME on you Doctor.  _ So _ where do you want to go?”

“Just..out. Somewhere you can see real stars. Doesn't matter where, unless you have any requests…” he said, stumbling slightly over his words, as he processed what he was saying.

“Anywhere I want to to?” she said with a slightly suggestive smile, as she rolled on to her side, shuffling close to him, eliminating the gap that her movement had made. Her leg pressed against his, edging closer, and he wondered for a moment if she was going to lay on top of him.

He wouldn't have stopped her.

“What if everyday could be like this?” he said, wistfully, “if we travelled together, you and me, and every day we could...just...be.”

“Oh, but we couldn't Doctor, you know that. You’d hear a distress call and chase after it, and I’d get bored, and then before you know it, the distress call you are chasing is my fault in the first place because I was restless.”

“Why does it have to be like that though? It doesn't need to be - there are other ways of relieving boredom that don't result in people making desperate distress calls. You’re capable of so much Missy, you’re the cleverest person I know.”

“Yes, I am,” she said, “keep going Doctor, you know how to sweet talk a girl.”

He laughed and she looked up, their eyes locking for a moment as the artificial world around them seemed to fade while their focus became solely on each other. In an instant they were moving closer, their lips pressing together and Missy instinctively parted her lips, just enough to invite him to go further.

He responded immediately, his tongue slipping in as their kiss deepened. He rolled on his side, his arms taking better hold as he pulled her flush against his body. She groaned and ran one hand up the back of his neck and through his hair as her other hand grabbed his shirt collar.

He pulled away slightly, his willpower falling to the wayside with her every touch but he managed to speak, his words tumbling out between kisses. “Missy, I want to...believe me...but, this just...it's not right...given that…the arrangement that we..”

But he didn't want to follow his head, not really.

“Doctor,” she said, a seductive husk to her voice that made him forget the sentence he was trying to form. “Its you and me. That's all we need to think about. Don't complicate this with some big moral stance. I want you, you want me. Stop wasting time. We’ve wasted lifetimes as it is.”

As his hand tangled into her hair, he wondered for a moment if she was actually tricking him - a plot to steal his TARDIS after all, and go off to wreak havoc on some unsuspecting world. But try as he might, he just couldn't resist her.

They explored each other confidently - it was not new ground, not for them, but it had been so long ago. Her touch became more possessive, greedy, and he took the cue, responding in like, and moving from caressing her to using his hands with greater purchase. Pushing aside the moral question that clearly didn't bother her in the slightest.

As if pouncing on prey, she pushed his shoulders flat to the ground as she moved to straddle him. He didn't move for a moment, as he watched her hitch up her skirts, and then reach up, removing what felt to the Doctor, like a ridiculous amount of hair pins, but then her hair tumbled free, down past her shoulders, and he honestly thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He hungered for her, and he had done a ridiculously valiant job of not letting his passion out for decades. In his mind it was wrong - even now, she was still technically his prisoner, but in reality it felt like anything but.

He reached up, gripping her hips as he pulled her down, rolling her over until he was on top, pressing her into the ground as he enjoyed the feeling of her body underneath his. Two weeks of not knowing if she was going to come back - if he would even see her again in this regeneration - to hell with restraint.

“You're beautiful Missy,” he said, almost reverently.

“I know,” she said, “less talk.”

He laughed, and she joined in, then he moved in, kissing her deeply and passionately. She hooked her ankles around his thighs, pulling him closer, encouraging him to not hold back. He grasped her hands in his, lacing his fingers through hers as he let go of everything that stood between them.

Wrong - right, they were concepts blurred into meaninglessness as they kissed each other deeply and intensely.

From the moment she stepped through his TARDIS doors, he knew she would never be his prisoner again. He was hers. Always.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s bring Missy’s TARDIS into the mix here. The alternate power source mentioned here is referenced in the Missy Chronicles.

He glanced at her as they stood at the controls of his TARDIS. Guilt swam through him as he operated the controls and materialized at the coordinates she had given him. She stood beside him - yet she was unable to enter the coordinates herself as he had not removed the biolock. She hadn’t assumed he would change that, and hadn’t asked, but he questioned himself. 

Given the intimacy they had shared he cursed himself for giving in to his need for her and then returning to his TARDIS and not showing her an ounce of trust by giving her some ability to pilot his TARDIS. He wanted to just take it off and tell her to take them there, but the cautious side of him, grounded in years of torment and disappointment at the hands of the Master would not allow him to throw caution to the wind around her.

He didn’t know if he was saddened by that, or certain that he was doing the right thing to safeguard his TARDIS. He had taken them to her TARDIS however, and he hoped that would show her how much he did trust her -  even if that trust was not absolute.

“Earth, England, 2014,” he said, as he looked at the monitor, wondering if he would be able to spot her TARDIS.

She stepped closer to him, taking his hand in hers before squeezing affectionately. A wordless gratitude that he felt he did not deserve at that moment.

“Let’s just promise each other something Missy, can we do that?” he paused, taking her other hand in his as they faced each other, “promise me that we’ll both come out of this alive, because I meant what I said - I want us to travel together..if you want to. You have your TARDIS...you could go if you chose to, but I hope you won't do that. I want us to be there - at that point where we can see the stars together...unburdened and without agenda or risk. I think we can reach that point.”

“Ah, but there will always be risk - it seems to follow a TARDIS around,” she said.

“All the more reason to keep ours close then,” he whispered.

“You know I want that too...I've  _ always _ wanted that. Just...ask me again once we leave here - if you still want me to travel with you, but  _ you’ll _ also be travelling with  _ me _ \- I’m not a pet Doctor.”

“I wouldn't dream of comparing you to anyone - pets or friends...I care deeply for all of them, but I can never care for anyone in this way. This...between us, it's always been there, it can’t burn, even when everything else does,” he said.

“When we crawl out of the ashes of what we’re about to do...ask me again, and let me make the choice, but once we arrive - you may regret saying you’ll set me free.  Don't make a promise you might not be able to keep,” she paused, giving him a disarming smile, “ now let’s stop being so serious, and go end a few horrors, neutralise some giant all powerful creatures, shock you a few times, because that’s just what I like to do for fun, and be home before the tea gets cold.”

One small component, replicated from his TARDIS was all that she needed. He didn’t doubt that she could have done it herself, but that would have taken time, and he didn’t want to risk her taking off without him, and facing whatever she was going to, alone.

He walked around her console room as it came to life, the entire room was humming and lights flickering on, greeting her with warmth. He always thought of the relationship he had with his own TARDIS, but he found it hard to imagine her, returning to hers after the atrocities she had committed in her not so distant past. Did this TARDIS welcome her as it had now, was it as in-tune with her as his was with him, or did it yearn for her to change just as he did?

He watched her as she stood at the controls, her hands running along the switches and levers as she circled the console.

“It’s good to be home,” she said.

Suddenly feeling as if he was an intruder, he took a moment to look around, taking in her high ceilings and large panelled walls. It was not unlike the decor he had created for her in his own TARDIS, and he felt a surge of joy that he had created something for her that was so close to her own design. Stealing a glance at her, he walked down the four steps and headed through the only door that he could see led out of the console room. The corridor immediately lit up, revealing the deep cream and browns of the corridors. It really was exquisitely designed and her attire fitted so perfectly with the whole look.

Pushing open the first door he came to, he was greeted by a vast library, beautiful oak towers of shelves, with matching oak sliding ladders situated in every row. He took a breath, inhaling the scent of age - books, manuscripts..history. It was all there in a beautifully organised and cared for library. He took a moment to consider if they were really so different at their essence.

Partly because he wanted to give her more time reacquainting herself with her TARDIS, and partly because he had a strong desire to explore what lay within the realms of her design, he took his time.

Wandering through the immense library, he ran his hand along the neatly arranged books, glancing at titles randomly as he walked through.

The floor was polished wood and he loved the sound of his footsteps in the quiet of her library. He found himself hoping dearly that he could return here. In his mind it had always been her - or her previous selves, travelling with him, but for the first time he felt surprised at his longing to be in  _ her _ TARDIS, travelling with her.

It was not unusual really  his feeling regarding her - she was different, confusing and worrying at times, but ultimately different to her previous selves. He was more drawn to her than he ever had been before. When he looked at her, he saw his friend inside. Not always able or ready to emerge, but for the first time, he knew she was there.

_And he had missed her so much._

Eventually, he turned around, and regretfully left the room and he pushed open the door to the room opposite.

Missy greeted him with a smile as she sat at a table enshrouded in a delicate white lace cloth. Pouring tea into her cup, she moved her gaze from the Doctor to the empty chair next to her, “sit down, have some tea. We have a hard road ahead.”

He sat down and thanked her as she poured his tea, “Your library is quite something - I’d love to explore some more of your TARDIS - would that be ok? When we get back perhaps?”

She smiled, “well I do have some areas I may lock you out of - wouldn't want you breaking any of my toys.”

“What toys might that be?” he asked, full of curiosity but tinged with concern.

She laughed, then winked, “if you’re good I might show you.”

Glancing at him with a slight smile, she dropped two sugar cubes into his cup, knowing her particular choice of tea had been quite strong.

He smiled his thanks, “I do like your decor - you fit perfectly with your TARDIS.”

“I have missed her,” she said with warmth. “I’ll let you in on a secret though,” she continued, leaning closer as if she was going to whisper.

The doctor couldn't help but lean in to her, she was like a magnet, forever pulling him to her.

“She did all this for me today. The library - she knows I like that to stay the same, but I had a very different decor until right before I walked through the door earlier,” she smiled, sitting back in her chair again. “I was ready to move on from the black obsidian I had before this - she outdid herself this time.”

“I'm sure she missed you. She's been here for decades waiting.”

“Of all the faces I've worn she seems to appreciate me more in this one,” she mused.

The Doctor looked down at his tea and smiled. He was in agreement with her TARDIS.

“You keep your TARDIS well away from your...plans these days.  Don't you find that inconvenient?” he asked curiously.

“You take too many risks with yours,” she said giving him an accusatory glance.

He nodded, not able to disagree with that statement.

“Although I will confess this - I have a slightly problematic power issue - and by slightly, I mean serious. I was using an alternate source. Eye of harmony wasn't working out.for me, long story. My alternate served me well but is failing now. I need to boost it - then I’ll easily have another 400 years. Much more if I hibernate it considering I'm...somewhat constrained at present. So we only have enough for two round trips at the most.”

The Doctor took in her words and found a growing stack of questions he wanted to ask her, “we could work on that together when we get back - if you want my help.”

She smiled but gave no response, and he took that to mean that she was closing that line of conversation. He respected that, despite his questions, and he could tell she appreciated him not pushing her and letting loose his myriad of questions about what exactly was wrong with her TARDIS.

They sat and talked with the relaxed familiarity that only two people who have known each other for such an expansive length of time could. Their conversation was light, and they simply enjoyed each other’s company. He realised how often they had drawn closer to this moment in the vault. She clearly wanted their friendship as much as he did, but finding their middle ground was usually their stumbling point. 

He had come to realise that he was looking at her entirely wrong. She was not a broken, flawed entity for him to fix, model on his own morality and reshape. She was herself - beautiful, gifted with talent and intelligence that really did impress him. When she wasn’t killing people, she really was the best company he ever wished for.

He sipped his tea as he wondered whether they could have more moments like these. He didn't realise quite how much he had missed this comforting closeness with her. He wanted it to last, but she was the one who eventually pulled him from his thoughts.

When the pot was finally empty, she sat back in her chair and cast a glance at the Doctor, “I think it’s time to go.”

“Are you sure? It’s been a long time since you've been here - you can take as much time as you need,” he said.

“If I stay here, I may just run. Turn my back on the mistakes I've made and fly away - taking  _ you _ with me, and that might work out just great, but eventually, it’ll come back to haunt me. I need to leave and not delay this. My past is littered with things I want to change, and most I simply can’t, but this is something I can. I made a mistake a long time ago, but I can change it - it’s not a fixed point before you go into lecture mode, I can change the death toll, I can undo some of my own damage.”

“So this is redemption?”

“Of sorts I suppose, but that’s not why - not really. It’s just….I was brought back into it all, and now I can’t walk away without doing...something. And that time is now Doctor. Sorry, but it’s really time to leave.”

He sighed regretfully once again. “We can... _ you, _ can have all this again Missy...you could do so much... _ we _ could do so much together, all you have to do is say yes. I’ve been wanting that for longer than I can remember, _ and I always will _ .”

She smiled, allowing his words to warm her for a moment before she exhaled, stilling herself and forcing herself to let go of his warmth, pushing it firmly away.

Standing, she took care to smooth down her now pristine jacket and skirt, inspecting briefly for creases. Finding it to her satisfaction she straightened up and glanced at the Doctor.

“We do it this way: I'm expected here, you're not. You need to blend in - do  _ not,  _ under any circumstances tell anyone about the tunnels. We will materialise in the main tunnel - now I have my TARDIS, getting them out will be so much easier. There are 25 people down there but these ones wouldn't leave - they have family, children - they wouldn't go without them. Its an annoying trend they started and they are all doing it now. You work at getting closer to the creatures - but stay out of my way,  _ don't _ interfere whatever you see. I am not a pet that needs saving - I have a role to play - don't mess up my plan with some misplaced sense of gallantry.  _ I will make you regret it if you do.” _

He blinked, taking in her words - he had to accept that she was doing this her way. As much as his instinct told him to be cautious, and big warning lights were going off in his head, as much as he now knew she did remember more than she had admitted,  _ still _ he followed her out of her TARDIS, taking a blind stand with her at whatever chaos she had caused.

They arrived.

She walked toward the door and a sudden sense of urgency took hold of him. He made a move to place his hand on her arm, still her and pull her toward him, but she stepped back away when he reached for her and he dropped his hand regretfully.

“Lets go,” she simply said, dismissing his gesture of concern, before turning away and pushing open the doors.


	6. Chapter 6

“You came back!” 

The first sound that greeted them was not that of fighting, weapons discharging or the crackling of fires burning. It was the excited voice of a young child.

“Of COURSE I did,” Missy said with a mock indignance that reminded him of when he had first seen her at 3W.

She crouched down and accepted the hug from the child, that the Doctor could now see, and deduced to be around 7 years old, then stood up, the child still holding on tight as she supported her with her arms.

“I missed you, you went away right after I blew my candles out, I wanted you at my party,” the child pouted.

“Come now, don’t make a fuss,” she said, then tilted her head closer to the little girl’s ear and whispered, “did you like my present?”

“Yes!” the child laughed, “everyone else wants one too, but I keep telling them it’s too special to share because Missy got it for me! No one has anything like that, I can win every game of hide and seek now!”

The doctor watched in astonishment as Missy smiled and kissed the girl on her cheek, before turning in response to the sound of footsteps, as she faced the approaching adults.

“How long have I been gone?” she asked, her tone becoming far more business like.

“Five days,” said a woman who entered the room mirroring Missy - a child also on her hip. She gestured toward the little girl Missy was holding, “Veesha’s been asking for you every day. Started to think you weren’t coming back.”

Missy this time appeared genuinely indignant and was clearly offended, but worked hard not to reveal her feelings. 

“Well if the only way to get rid of this irritating sense of guilt and responsibility is to  _ help _ you, then what choice do I have….plus, you make the best tea I've ever had the pleasure of tasting, and i’d go through worse than this hell hole for tea of that calibre.”

“Well, i’ll fix you a pot while we catch up then Missy,” the woman said with a nod before glancing at the Doctor.

“This is my friend, the Doctor,” Missy said. “He's going to help. Do you have everything you need? I don't know how soon I can come back down.”

“We are running out of clean water - two days at most.”

“I can supply you with everything you need now that I have my ship, water won’t be a  problem. Food, heat, lighting - but we will have everyone ready to evacuate before long. It won't be much longer now.”

The woman visibly relaxed and put down the child, Missy following suit and watching as both children giggled and ran through the tunnels together.

He watched her, stunned by the whole scene, as he took in the sad smile Missy wore as she watched the children run off happily through the dimly lit tunnels.

The woman turned to the Doctor, “you’re a doctor? Can you help? We have... injured people down here,” she said. The uncomfortable, awkward manner which she asked him only confusing him.

“I’ll see what I can do, lead the way,” he said.

Missy followed, hanging back slightly as they approached the patient - a woman in her thirties, a baby held somewhat awkwardly in her arms.

“What's wrong?” he asked, noting that another woman carefully took the baby and sat down rocking it back and forth and cooing.

“My arm - it isn't getting better, it's worse if anything than it was a week or so ago, and I think I'm getting an infection,” she said, raising her shirt and gesturing to a stained dressing that was surrounded by healing burns.

The Doctor began examining her as Missy stood silently watching them both from the partial darkness of the corner of the dimly lit room.

“Well, your wrist is broken - I can fix that. Have you kept it immobile?”

“I tried to, but I have the baby, and another little one. I need to hold him to feed him,” she said.

“It's a bad break..” he began, as he carefully began setting her wrist. “Any movement will make it hurt.”

Missy stepped forward into the light cast by the single lamp in the room, inching closer, she spoke with a regretful tone, “I need you to know….”

“Don't say your sorry, Mistress,” said the woman, “just please don't.”

“Just Missy,” she said quietly, focusing on the woman. “In here - just Missy.”

The woman held her gaze, recognising the regret Missy directed toward her, before looking away, not certain of how to process it.

Missy glanced at the Doctor, noting that realisation had not yet struck him. Not wanting to see the expression in his eyes when he realised what they were talking about, she had a sudden desire to leave the room, and exited quickly under the guise of checking on the others.

“There, how's that? Can you move your arm for me,” he asked.

The woman cried in pain as she tried to raise her arm - “I think she broke it up here too.”

“She?.. _ oh _ , I see,” he paused, closing his eyes momentarily as dismay hit him fast, “uh... _ well, _ I can fix that too. Then I’ll check the burns. You..want to tell me what happened?”

The Doctor found her soon after, in a makeshift kitchen, doing what appeared to be a mental inventory of the contents of a cupboard. She stopped and turned when she noticed him watching her, her eyes focusing on the wall behind him.

“How is she?” she asked in a hushed tone.

The Doctor sighed and stepped closer toward her, “I fixed two breaks on her arm and healed the wound on her stomach. She had substantial burns, she was right, it was infected.”

“Thank you - I could only do so much without medical supplies. I...”

“ _ Why _ ?” he asked, the dismay and sorrow lacing his words thickly. Her hearts hurt at the sound of his voice.

She bowed her head, unwilling to see his expression. “I just know that I wasn't alone. So I had to do it - she was a test subject...just until I was alone with her again and could explain that I wanted to help her, to get her down here. If I hadn't...the rest of these people might not be safe down here. I didn't  _ need _ test subjects, not really, but adding that stage delayed the mass slaughter that is coming. I wish It hadn't come to that, but for some of them I've had little choice. I’m not proud of it, but in the grander scheme of it all, they are small sacrifices if I'm going to stop the massive death toll.”

“No, Missy...NO!” he paused, trying to keep his reaction in check. “There is no justification for hurting anyone, no matter what the big picture. You could've….” He began with a tone of desperation, but stopped, choosing his words carefully before shaking his head. “You could have done something else...just.. _ anything _ , but not…” he paused, deciding not to finish his sentence. “Did you know this? When you told me you couldn't remember? I have to know.”

“I  _ told _ you I had hurt people,” she said, her voice a mixture of anger and sadness.

“Yes, you did,” he said, with a sadness matching her own. “I didn't expect you to be taking care of them afterwards though.”

“Well, clearly you have more experience at keeping pets than I do - the food I left them with ran out faster than I expected. Humans eat so much more than we do. I didn't even leave them with enough basic supplies.”

“You did at least try though,” he paused, reminding himself to hold on to the positive decisions she had made, not lose sight of that despite everything else.  

“That little girl...she adores you. Does she know about the people you’ve hurt?” he asked, seeing regret in her eyes as she looked at him.

“Yes, she does. But she also knows i’m trying to help - children don’t have the weight of judgement - they see the layers of a person and they can peel away easily to find the part that they want  and hang on to it,” she paused, exhaling hard as she tried to focus, “Doctor, this place is full of far more horrors than the casual violence I've inflicted, believe me.”

“That doesn’t make it acceptable!” he said, frustrated. “Work with me, let’s formulate a plan that doesn’t involve you hurting anyone.”

“We do this my way. If you have a problem with that I suggest you leave - take my TARDIS and come back for me when the hard part is over. Then you can pass your judgement on me and keep your hands clean at the same time. Lock me back in the vault and convince yourself you did the right thing - that  _ you've _ come out clean.”

He sighed, “I’m in this with you, I won’t walk away and leave you here, but I will not allow you to hurt anyone.”

“Well then Doctor, things are going to get very interesting," the steely determination in her voice telling him that she was not negotiating.

Their eyes met, and both remained motionless. Missy leaving no doubt that she was doing things her way, and watching him for his response, detecting the merest hint of feeling at the inner turmoil he was battling with.

The Doctor wanted to shout at her, tell her how beyond ridiculous it was to come back here without any concrete plan - all because of her desire to change the outcome. His mind dwelled on that momentarily and he began to rapidly lose tension - she wanted to change her past, wasn’t this a good sign? An indication that she felt regret and wanted to be...better. He couldn't obstruct her when that was her motive - he had to let her try, but he had to ensure it was done without causing harm.

After all, genuine change was gradual, and that surely demonstrated how genuine her journey was.

“OK, how many are up there?” he asked, noticing the flicker of relief she wore.

“Hundreds,” she replied.

“How often do they feed? The creatures - how many people?”

“More and more are fed to them the closer they gets to waking. It's hard to say. They're sort of...being fattened up. They're a telepathic species but they're not roused enough to communicate yet. That's where you come in - you go into hero mode and figure out how to stop it. I have to go up there now, switch into evil torturess mode - but don't worry Doctor, I shall do my very best not to kill anybody.”

“Who else is up there?” he said, “this wouldn't run itself while you were gone.”

“There is a small army controlling this camp, but now I know that i’m...at the top of the food chain.”

“Of course you are,” he said, with more anger than he intended to, regretting his words as soon as he had uttered them. “So why don't you stop it - you're running the whole operation so it’s that simple.” He looked at her with obvious concern, “you’re trying to fix this, I know that. I just need to know you have a plan.”

“Of COURSE I have a plan!” she said, indignantly, “a very admirable plan! You’ll give me a gold star for this one! Save the people, set the creatures free, keep the power out of the wrong hands - I’m the only one who can stop it all going up in smoke anyway.”

“Set them free? They’re capable of immense power and you don’t have any plan other than releasing them?”

“Well.. _.about that. _ I can’t just let these creatures go wandering about like big fireballs of power, causing chaos everywhere they go. That’s why I need to encapsulate that power - not all of it - the power is their life force and I am not  _ evil  _ these days afterall, i’m not going to kill them. I can use my previous plan - just with enhancements.”

“You were going to just leave Missy, to turn your back on all this. You can still save these people and not take control of those creatures,” he said. “Do you have a plan that doesn't involve using their power for your own benefit?”

Missy felt a stab of hurt at his words, and hoped it didn't show, “maybe I don’t have a plan  _ per se _ , maybe i’m just winging it - what do you think Doctor? Of course I want that power - when I get close to it it’s absolutely hedonistic, but i’m here because I don't want this death toll  left behind the last time. I don't want all this blood on my hands,” she paused, taking a steadying breath.

She looked into his eyes, hating to leave on such a difficult moment, wanting the air to be clear between them.

“What I did to Mila…” she paused, not sure she wanted to ask the question, too afraid of what his answer might be.

“Do you still believe in me now?” she asked, with every ounce of effort she possessed holding her voice steady and keeping her tears locked away, afraid to hear his answer.

“Missy,” he whispered, taking in the sadness in her eyes, “ _ always _ .” He continued, with absolute sincerity, “you will fix this - I will always believe in you. And do you even realise...what makes this so different? What should show you what goodness there is inside you?  _ Her name _ . I didn’t even ask her what her name was. But  _ you _ know - and i’m guessing you know the names of every one of these people down here - is that right?”

“Yes, “ she replied, in a hushed tone.

He moved closer, facing her as he took her hand in his, “that’s because their lives matter to you. What you've done is wrong, and I dread to think how many others you've hurt in all this time….but I will not lose faith in you.”

She closed her eyes, giving a slight smile as she let his words embrace her. When she opened her eyes she met his and felt a brief burst of happiness. Carrying his words with her, she let go of his hand, turned and headed away.

He watched as she walked briskly off through the tunnels, his eye fixed on her until she disappeared into the darkness, a flash of purple in the blackness as she turned a corner.

He waited one minute, and then he followed her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hopefully explains why Missy’s memories are a bit patchy. There's some Master/Missy here but nothing above a T rating and reference to a physical altercation in the ‘recent’ past. Missy gets her memories back - but what does that mean for her?

He turned in his overstuffed chair by the fireplace, the glow from the flickering flames casting shadows around him. He watched her curiously, suspicion flooding him at the surprised  and suddenly guarded expression she wore as she froze at the doorway.

“Well, now isn't this interesting,” he said, before gesturing to a second chair near the fire, “come, sit down.”

Walking over the creaking floorboards, she approached her younger self at the fireplace and sat down, remaining silent as she stared into the flames avoiding his gaze. In her mind she rapidly assessed the few cues she could gauge from him. Taking in his appearance she could tell that he hadn't been Harold Saxon for a very long time. He had a relaxed ease about him that she could not remember feeling in that body until long after she returned from Gallifrey - when the drums no longer plagued her. It had taken a long time though, to settle into a peace in her head when she wore that body. He would be over half way through his time at that point, but very far from his regeneration.

He allowed her the moment to assess him, as he did the same, trying to estimate how long she had actually been gone. He felt content that she hadn't just turned up from further back in her past - her past timeline in that body had been a whirlwind by his estimation, so much change and unpredictability that he wouldn't have known what was coming next. This was clearly  _ his Missy, _ despite the confusion she wore.

“We have a little disagreement and you just up and leave for five days.  _ Five days _ Missy. On a planet which is devoid of everything….this is the only habitable part, so where have you been?”

She turned to face him, “I came here to continue my work and I find  _ you _ . What are you doing here?”

“What am I  _ doing _ here?” he asked, indignant at first, until realisation washed over him.  “Oh, you  _ have _ been off world,” he smirked. “You’ve retained some memory though - but not of us? Well that’s going to be interesting,”

“I need the gaps filled in. I have to know what I've done, what you're doing here - and how long we’ve both been here. We can't be crossing our own time stream like this without side effects. Don't make this difficult - just show me,” she said.

He smirked, toying with the idea of refusing so that he could take the lead - keep her guessing and watch as she pieced it together. It would be a perfect opportunity to evaluate any doubts he had about her loyalty to their project - to them.

“Where have you been darling?” he asked, deliberate suspicion in his tone.

She inched slightly closer to him, annoyance and anger dripping from her voice, “show. Me.”

He placed a hand suddenly on her knee, squeezing roughly before sliding his hand higher, gripping her thigh firmly through her skirts, noticing the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. She genuinely wasn't sure what he would do, and having that edge spurred him on. She had no idea what they had done, and that would be an interesting game to play.

He released her thigh and moved his hands to her jacket, popping open her buttons, his eyes locked intently with hers. It was too enticing not to take it further - when she was thrown off kilter and uncertain of herself. Pulling her jacket open quite roughly, he paused when eased off her shoulders, watching her as she tried to process his intention. He let his hands rest there momentarily, letting her wonder what his next move would be.

Not getting resistance, he continued. He was not certain if he preferred her passive for a change, or he wanted her to react with anger - either way it was fascinating.

He had the advantage and it was enjoyable for him to see her taken back by his actions toward her. Her passivity was purely down to being a step behind - her mind racing to make sense of her other self’s actual motivation. With no recollection of any of their time together she truly wasn't aware of what her relationship with her past had become.

He couldn't help himself. He moved his hands to her blouse and quickly began to work the buttons, getting as far as the third button, his eyes intent and dark, before he finally saw a shift as her gaze hardened.

He felt a tinge of disappointment, but laughed as she slapped his hands away and began purposefully doing her buttons back up. Shrugging her jacket back on, she finally secured those buttons too, before staring hard at him.

“You are  _ not _ going there. Don't test me,” she spat, her voice laced with anger.

“You really do have no idea sis,” he said as he reached up, his fingers skimming lightly and affectionately across her cheek. She pulled back slightly, confused by his actions, as he smirked, “tphis could be fun, to play with you like this - but I need you back.”

He shifted in his seat and inched closer, pulling her chair to face his before sliding his own chair forward as far as it would go. Her legs were in between his and he closed his thighs tightly around hers, locking her in place. Taking her face gently in his hands, he leaned forward and waited for her to mirror him until her forehead touched his. Her eyes closed and she exhaled, relaxing to let her mind open to his.

All at once she gasped as a flood of memories began rushing into her mind. Her arms flailed momentarily until she reached for him, grabbing hold of his arms. He was steady, allowing his mind to open and bleed into hers without restraint. She wasn't quite prepared for the instant onslaught into her consciousness, and gripped his arms painfully tight.

“That’s right,” he whispered. “That’s right Missy. You feel it now don’t you? Let it rush through your veins; power, heat, control. Everything that makes you who you are..that makes you part of  _ us _ .”

Her mind was filled with memories, rushing In fast as he threw everything at her. She saw him come to her in the vault - the tension and anger that followed as he started to understand what she was doing there. The way he tempted her - playing into her desire to change. Asking her to help him finish something they started in the past, sweetening the deal by offering her the chance to finish it all without wiping out the entire population this time.

She knew he needed her skills - with a substantial amount of years on him, her talents were more refined. Together they could accomplish power on a huge scale. She wasn't blind to his game, but she chose to play it, compelled to leave the vault with him.

The slight hope that she could enact a plan from her past and leave without wiping everyone within range out, was undoubtedly a seed of motivation.

The shame her younger self put on her for her very existence in the vault however was stinging. He was appalled by what he saw was clearly captivity by her own choice - because, he had said as he had mocked her, she could easily open the vault and leave. She  _ chose _ to be the Doctors prisoner and it incensed him that his future would come to that.

He had seduced her ultimately though with talk of power - she remembered that feeling so well. 70 years did not erase the ability to awaken the yearning within her for power and domination. She almost tasted it standing there with him.

Gasping, she tried not to fight the onslaught as the memories crashed into her mind violently. They had fought each other, ruled together, played out every fantasy they pulled from the darker corners of their minds. They were destructive and dangerous, but together, their minds were capable of even greater brilliance.  

He held her firmly, throwing everything he could into her head along with his whispered promises that she was better now. Not confined, not contained and not answering to anybody. He stripped back the layers of her mind until she could feel the raw power of his truth. The essence of what made her the Master.

She could only hold on tightly, her breath rapid and heavy, and not resist as the flow from his mind which felt like it was attacking her senses, finally began to ease.

He waited until he was sure she had absorbed everything he had to give her, and then he inched back, just enough to look at her as she opened her eyes, swaying slightly as she came down from the bombardment to her senses. His hands moved from her face, one rested on her shoulder and the other stroked her hair as he stared intently at her. “Did that help ‘fill in the gaps’?”

“Thank you,” she whispered, her breathing then coming in short rapid bursts.

He watched her, his legs still clamped around hers, as her breathing began to gradually slow again.

“Good. Now where have you been? Because, Missy,” he said, continuing to slowly stroke her hair, “if I find out you took my TARDIS, I'm going to be very unhappy.”

Missy stared hard at him, taking a steadying breath before composing herself enough to speak, “I don't need your TARDIS, stop being so fucking egotistical. It’s not always about us.”

“Ok,” he said, with a sigh, standing and shoving his chair back behind him before he gripped her hands slightly too tightly and possessively, and pulled her up to stand in front of him.

His grip shifted, almost reassuringly as he watched her blink, knowing she would be feeling light headed. “That's where this has gone wrong. It  _ is _ about us. But I don't want to fight with you - since we are though sis...do you know what the best part of fighting with you is?”

Missy knew he was going there, her mind quickly worked through all the moralities of it, as she took a moment to let her senses recover. It had always felt wrong, but deliciously so - she could never fight her curiosity. It was not in the vocal, base way her younger self always demonstrated his needs, just in an intrigued way. They simply fit so perfectly together. She could not deny the desire she felt - it was a rush, the thrill of the chaos and destruction that would always lay in his wake. She almost tasted it when he kissed her.

There was an electricity every time their lips touched - almost like the universe itself was fighting them, screaming at them both that they were a paradox full of so much that was wrong.

They ignored it.

He stepped back, carefully unbuttoning her jacket without any resistance from her this time, before reaching up to slide it off her shoulders. She uttered an annoyed curse when he let it drop to the ground.

He watched her impatiently as she turned and bent down to pick it up, swaying slightly, still not completely recovered from the fast and furious stream into her mind. She inspected it before folding it carefully, brushing specs of dust off and placing it over the back of her chair.

Turning around, she was not surprised to find he had stepped closer, instantly gripping her hips and pulling her flush against him.

He eased back enough to give his hands room to roam up over her breasts, and take hold of the front of her blouse as she glared at him, silently warning him to be careful.

He laughed and slid his hands back down to her belt, and roughly pulled the fabric free from her skirt as he began unbuttoning her blouse from the bottom up.

“I'm not joking. I don't have the luxury of a TARDIS at the moment, so if you wreck my outfit - if you so much as lose a button, then you are taking me to Earth - 1899 England, to go on a shopping spree.”

He paused, holding his hands up in mock surrender - the task of opening buttons with care, proving too much of a challenge in his hastened state, “you're like a gift with too much wrapping - I don't have the patience. It’d be much more fun if you stripped for me - give me a demo on how to get out of that corset.”

“You're lazy. You can get this corset off like a pro,” she said, as she stepped closer. Leaving her clothes intact and running her hands up his chest toward his shoulders. “You’ve had enough demos - how about _ you _ strip for  _ me _ .”

“I've been thinking about you for 5 days Missy,” he said, catching his jacket before it hit the floor, and placing it over hers. Smoothing it out carefully in an action which mirrored hers as he brushed off a fleck of dust.

He looked at her in an almost predatory way, “I've been thinking about all the ways we could have been entertaining ourselves - you always know what I want -  _ exactly _ what I want. You could show me - while we lay on the pulsing ground - feeling the strength grow under our bodies.”

She rolled her eyes, “how poetic. That's great for you of course, but you need to make more effort to learn what  _ I _ like.”

He shrugged, “you've not gone soft then - I practised that pulsing ground line all morning, wondered if you’d think it...romantic.”

She laughed, ensuring he heard the mocking tone to her voice - she could feel his anger bubbling.

“You need to learn how to give  _ me _ what I want - and you have a lot to learn,” she said, a dangerous edge to her voice. She knew she was baiting him but this was just the way they danced.

“ _ Missy _ ,” he hissed, as he made a sudden move to grab her wrists and pull her toward him roughly, his mouth moving straight to her neck, wasting no time as he sunk his teeth into her neck, a sharp bite showing her that he did know how she liked it.

She tilted her head, extending her neck to give him better access. She struggled to free her wrists, enjoying the battle, but he held her in a vice like grip.

He looked up, his face a dangerous mask of desire and suspicion, “where have you been Missy?”

When she remained silent he moved, not releasing her wrists as he walked backwards,  pulling her a few feet across the floor, before spinning her around and pushing her against the wall.

She began laughing as she felt the impact when her back collided with the stone surface.

“You have some explaining to do,” he said, as he moved her wrists above her head, making a mental note that he really needed to get one of the guards to do some work for him in the room. There was simply nowhere to restrain somebody, and that was nothing short of inconvenient and tiring. Still, she wasn't even really struggling, so he simply pressed her wrists into the wall with one hand, while his other worked the rest of her buttons free, taking care with the material in a bizarre contrast to his actions toward her.

She allowed him his display of dominance, if only to give her time to think. She wanted to play with him like this, but her head was hurting from the invasion into her mind - so she hardly felt turned on. How the hell he was aroused so much was beyond her. The fact that she had this effect on herself was fascinating, frightening... and yet on another level, understandable, all at the same time.

Letting go of her wrists he stepped back, admiring her body constrained in her black lace corset, her breasts not quite as constrained as the rest of her, as they began to threaten to spill out.

She rolled her eyes, remaining against the wall looking bored. “All that just to open my blouse and stare at me. Such an  _ anticlimax. _ You can do better than that.”

He smirked and watched her as she began to look annoyed, bringing her arms back down and rubbing her wrists, the beginnings of bruising already appearing.

“Do you have to leave so much damage?” she said.

“You’ve given me plenty, don't act so innocent.” He said as he walked towards the large bed and pulled something out of a drawer before walking back towards her.

Straightening up, she stepped away from the wall as she caught sight of the handcuffs.

“No,” she said firmly, “this is over. Calm yourself down and we’ll talk later.”

He laughed, “come on Missy, I know I pissed you off last time, but that was different - I was angry with you - it made me sick to see you being all nice to the food. I had to remind you of who you were.”

“Go to hell,” she spat.

“Been there, didn't think much of it. Ok, ‘ _ i’m sorry’ _ ,” he said, in a patronising tone. “Is that what you need to hear? I'm not too up on all that, see I haven't been polluted by the  _ Doctor _ like you have. What did he do to you? Keeping you there all to himself. Locking us up in a box - I bet it was the biggest power trip he'd ever been on. So tell me Missy...how do I  _ redeem _ myself?” he smirked, knowing he would get to her with his words but admiring how stoic and unbreakable she appeared.

“Fuck you,” she said calmly.

“Great idea,” he said, before laughing. “But you know, really, I just wanted to punish you for all the fucking…” he paused, spitting out the word like venom, “ _ kindness _ . Do you know how disgusted I was to walk in and see that?”

She stared hard at him, “I just wanted to shut them up - all that crying and screaming - sometimes showing them kindness….that's a better approach with humans, makes it easier to tame them.”

He frowned, stepping toward her, “I hope that’s true Missy, I really hope that’s true. Did you have to... _ hug _ them though.”

“Worked didn't it? I shut her up, stopped all that annoying whiny crying. You didn't even thank me!”

Sighing he moved over to a large bed, climbing on and laying on his side as he looked at her, “let’s not dwell on all this now,” he said, as he dropped the handcuffs to the floor. “You and I sis, are flawless. We are an unstoppable  _ and extremely attractive _ force when we are together. We really do have some trust issues though don't we? So, no restraints. You're right, I was quite rude, so come to bed. Let me  _ really _ thank you..”

“Is that all you think about?” she said with disgust.

He laughed and sat up, his eyes boring into her, “when you're around...yeah, its preoccupying….but, I think about other things - like where you’ve been sleeping all this time, because things got quite heated the night you left, and there’s not a mark on you now. So you've been gone for long enough to heal... haven't you? Where did you go?”

“Did it not occur to you that I was sick of starving to death in this place and might have needed a decent meal surrounded by a decent standard of sanitation for a while? Not  everything revolves around you. I didn't have to come back to this hell hole, did I? I chose to come back, I could have just left, so stop letting your mind conjure up whatever it is right now, because I chose to be here, with  _ you _ . We belong together, even when we’re tearing each other apart,” she smiled, her mood instantly brightening in a second as she spotted her umbrella propped up against the wall. Taking hold of it, she spun around with a smile,“lift up your shirt.”

He tensed, then grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it, glaring at her as her eyes were drawn triumphantly to the large, angry purple mark.

“Looks like my blow was harder dear,” she said, smiling as she walked over and leaned down, staring hard at him. “Don’t  _ ever _ do that again.”

He didn't flinch, remaining motionless until she stood up and walked to the door. The imprint from her umbrella hurt like hell but he wasn't going to admit it. The throbbing pain was a reminder that she wasn't incapable of exacting revenge, and that was all he needed to keep hold of. The Doctor hadn't succeeded in pacifying her. He could unlock her darkness and remind her how beautiful it was to drink it to excess.

He lowered his shirt and smiled smugly, “I got bored waiting for you to come back - fixed the circuit, stopped the power surge. So we can have all the fine dining we want now.”

She gave him a genuine look of surprise before casting him a flirtatious smile as she left the room, throwing him a parting comment.

“Made yourself useful?  _ Well _ , I’ll see you at dinner then dear.”

Laying back down on the bed he stared at the ceiling, his eyes tracing the flaking paint on the cracked surface as his mind whirred with questions. If she had gone somewhere with his TARDIS, he would find out - he  _ had _ to know.

The power they were harvesting was theirs, but it would only work his way, and he would make her understand that.

But first, he thought, as he smiled in anticipation of what was to come.

They would dine. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating is M because of this chapter. If you don't want to read Master/Missy smut then you can skip this, but you’re safe to read the first part with Missy and the Doctor. Just skip at the scene change. Otherwise - this is what they mean by….. fine dining. I did edit and tone this down a LOT, as it would have upped the rating to explicit otherwise, and I didn't want the rating up that high because of just one chapter. I hope it sits comfortably in an M rating - I have mainly posted in other places so am not quite used to A03's system. Just gonna post this and run.
> 
> Also i'm having such a hassle with formatting when I'm pasting the chapters in, but will keep going and do a couple more this afternoon.

The Doctor had hung back, not eager to walk right into something that he didn’t have some idea about - not when Missy was involved. He hoped she would come back down to the tunnels, a desperate need to get her alone and talk to her now that he had heard even a fraction of the conversation in that room. It had been muffled but he had heard enough. At times he had wanted to barge in, and it took a lot of restraint not to, but now he just needed to talk to her. Stop her from letting things go too far - although he suspected that  things had gone exceptionally far already with two Masters together.

He sighed in frustration. He needed to get to the creatures, make contact, but he had to get her to listen first. Crossing her own time stream was problematic enough, but doing it to the point of whatever level her physical relationship with her past self had reached - he didn't even want to let his mind dwell on it.

Not that he could think of anything else.

She made her way along the hallway quickly, her footsteps echoing on the stone steps as her boots struck them. She shoved open a rickety wooden door and rounded the corner fast. Immediately his hand grabbed her arm,  causing her to stumble as she was pulled into the shadows.

“I don’t even think there is a descriptive noun for what you are doing with...yourself,” the Doctor hissed, still taken back by the concept of her with her former self.

“Oh please Mr Morality - we’re the _same_ _person_!” she said, annoyed at his unexpected move as she shrugged his hand from her arm. “You've met yourself a few times - haven't you ever been _tempted_?” she asked curiously.

“Of course not! Honestly could you have created a more complicated taboo if you tried?”

“Oh i’m  _ sure _ I could,” she said with a flirtatious laugh.

“Missy,” the Doctor said, his tone serious and not impressed with her reaction at all. “You know this is wrong.”

“Oh NO! Is it?” she gasped in mock surprise. “Maybe that's why it feels SO good then. You know what else is wrong, Doctor - spying on me when i’m...  _ alone with myself _ .”

She watched the storm brewing behind his eyes and pushed him further, continuing in a sing song voice that she knew would incense him. “ _ Some _ -body's  _ jeal _ -ous!”

“You’re better than this Missy, I can almost understand you going there once - the curiosity of it, but if you've been... _ with him _ , for all this time - dont you see how wrong it is? How messed up it is??”

Missy felt anger burning through her, but kept it reigned in, giving him only a dramatic sigh followed by a stifled yawn.

“Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. Don't pull the moral high ground on me, you’ll go away and you’ll think about it and you’ll imagine me with him, won’t you?”

She smiled as she watched him visibly tense. She hadn't planned to torment him, but it just felt right and she found it so easy to get under his skin. Along with it, she felt a confusing urge to reach for him - comfort him physically while she hit him with her words.

“Oh don’t deny that you’re wondering what we’ve done,  _ how _ we’ve done it, and whether we were thinking about  _ you _ ...because when I’m with him we see right into each other's minds, and believe me Doctor, you’ve  _ always _ been on our mind. In so many  _ delicious _ ways.”

He ignored her words, knowing she was attempting to distract him but not able to dismiss the thought that her previous selves had not forgotten what they once were to each other.

“Missy,” he focused, knowing he couldn't let the thought divert him. ”Are you’re playing him? If you are - are you not considering that he’s playing you too? It’s how you always operated - you have to be careful with him, these games can get very dangerous very fast. Keep sight of why you're here and don't fall into a trap of your own making.”

“I know what he’s planning Doctor! I have the upper hand here.”

“But  _ you _ weren't here last time - you’re changing history just by your presence. I may not have anything near the connection that you could have with him, but I could  _ feel _ him. His desire for you is dark, and it’s dangerous. You have to very careful.”

Missy looked up, meeting his eyes, “his desire Doctor, is  _ mine. _ There's something so intoxicating when i’m close to him - we’re just….everything we’re not supposed to be, and it’s hard to resist that. I’m considerably better at resisting it than  _ he _ is, but something just pulls us together - we should be opposing magnets but we aren't...we just fit. Plus its all so DARKLY sexual.  _ Irresistible _ .”

“He will hurt you Missy,” he said in a hushed, almost defeated tone.

“I’m a big girl Doctor, I can handle myself,” she paused, contemplating her words,  _ “quite _ literally.”

He shook his head, his warnings not accepted in the slightest. He admitted to himself that he was motivated by jealousy to some degree - whether rational or not, but he feared her closeness to her past would ultimately be her destruction.

That thought left him with a chill.

“Where are you going?” he asked, changing the subject. “You need space from him to keep your head clear. You need to be working with me down here, not playing dangerous games with him.”

“ _ Doctor _ ,” she said, a warning edge to her voice. “This is my world, not yours. As sweet as your jealousy is, I don't have time for it. You're playing  _ my _ game now. You don't get to play jailer here.”

He sighed, “I'm just...concerned. It's not about our dynamics - its about you not losing sight of your motivation. Just...come back down if you can and check in.”

She paused, a sharp intake of breath, “and why should I  _ report _ to you?”

“Just check in, because,” he began, trying not to stumble over his words, “you need to stay grounded around him. You could stay down in the tunnels - just tonight...”

“Stay with you?” she whispered, the hint of concern in his voice quashing her impulse to mock him.

“Yes,” he admitted feeling somewhat uncertain.

“After the big morality lecture you just gave me? Or perhaps you have some personal mission to _save my virtue_ ,” she said, not bothering to suppress her urge to mock him this time.

“I just want you to be safe - and sane - and to know you’re leaving here with me,” he admitted.

She smiled. “I can’t give you safe or sane, that would be horribly  _ boring _ , but I have every intention of leaving here with you - you STILL owe me a pony.”

“Missy - when we leave here, I meant what I said...”

“Don’t, Doctor - I just might disappoint you yet,” she said, “In fact I can almost guarantee it.”

“Yes, you might, but you might also make a big difference in the process. He’s just...an added complication - a temptation..”

She stepped closer and placed her hands on his chest, slipping under his open jacket until her palms rested over his hearts. She tilted her face up, meeting his eyes - she fought the urge to just grab him and kiss him.

He instinctively put his arms around her, drawing her closer until his lips were barely touching hers.

She pulled back just enough that he could feel her whispered breath against his lips. “If you have some odd sense of betrayal here Doctor.  _ Don't. He’s me - i’m him. _ ”

He closed his eyes, fighting his own battle to just close the distance between them and kiss her.

With great restraint, he stepped back, “I don't.”

Missy smirked, “I'm not one of your pets. Don't lie to me.”

He reached for her, but this time, it was her that stepped back. The distance between them inching further and further.

“Missy - this just isn't good for you...here, among all this - in the thick of your past.”

“What's not good Doctor, “ she said, casually dismissing his fears, “is you - up here, within  _ sensing _ distance of my past. But then you've always been one to jump on in, never could play a long game, could you?”

He watched her as she suddenly stepped out of the shadows away from him, giving a twirl, her skirt billowing around her theatrically, before she simply turned away from him, her hand raised in a casual wave as she walked quickly, continuing down the dimly lit hallway. She didn’t cast so much as a glance back in his direction.

He could only watch, as she walked away.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

The table was an overly large, impressive solid oak. A long, narrow strip of red silk cloth ran the entire length. In the centre was a candle holder, where four large red candles lit the table, complimenting the gas lights on the wall. 

Missy sat at one end, her demeanour relaxed and playful as she eyed the Master, seated at the opposite end.

He sipped his drink - a strong wine, from a solid silver goblet, as he gave her a smile.

“Now this is so much better, isn't it? We may as well enjoy ourselves sis, have some ‘me time’. In two days, my TARDIS will be ready to extract those things life force. Then...we can accomplish... _ anything _ .”

“It’s all a bit sexy really, isn't it?” she said flirtatiously, smiling at him before raising her goblet, mirroring him and taking a sip.

He smiled approvingly at her remark, “we’re at the heart of it - all that raw power waiting to give itself up to... _ us _ .”

She leaned forwards somewhat seductively as she smiled back at him. “This room is my favourite place on this entire dreary planet. The heart of the power right below us - the rest of the world shut out. Just you, me and fine dining. It always makes me...hungry.”

He rose, walking slowly toward her, his eyes locked onto hers. She felt a flash of excitement and he felt it too.

“When we’re done here, this planet will be nothing but wasteland - this decrepit place ready to become ashes. We can watch it all burn together,” he said.

She rose to meet him as he stopped by her chair. Her gaze roamed briefly over his perfectly tailored suit, her appreciation giving him a flash of pride and arousal.

“How does that sound Missy? Because I've never really desired to share something so perfectly intimate before. But you and me - were the only ones who really understand each other. The pure intoxication of watching a planet burn - a wasteland of our own creation, the air thick with the smoke of the dying embers.” He stepped closer, bringing his hand to her hair, his fingers tangling through as he firmly but slowly, tugged her head backwards.

Her eyes closed, as she listened to his voice.

“Ashes dancing in the air around us,” he whispered seductively.

Missy remained still, his words filling a deep rooted need within her - she felt him tug harder on her hair, and she opened her eyes, seeing immediately the lust and want in his gaze and knowing this was only mirrored in her own eyes. When she spoke, she knew he could hear the arousal dripping from her words.

“It sounds... _ like perfection _ .”

He grinned, then pulled her towards him, with one hand still firmly gripping her hair and the other taking purchase of her waist. His fingers digging in slightly as he gripped her hard and possessively.

“It's good to have you back - I was worried you had been gone for too long. Succumbed to some disgusting descent into guilt without being able to retain your memories. I don't want you..relapsing.”

Missy’s eyes locked with his with an intensity as her mind pushed  firmly against his. “Neither do I, I assure you. Why don’t you remind me what I've been missing.”

She stepped backwards, and he allowed her to guide them both back towards the table. Their eyes remaining focused on nothing but the other as they moved.

Knowing exactly what she wanted, he moved both hands to her hips and lifted her up, sitting her on the edge of the long table.

She popped open the buttons on her jacket, shrugging it carefully off and putting it down on the closest chair within reach.

He moved his hands to her hair, pulling out pins and chuckling as he sensed her annoyance when he carelessly let them drop to the ground. Once he had pulled enough pins out to make her hair fall free, he stepped back, eyeing her hungrily.

Leaning back slowly, she gradually shifted up so that she was laying completely on the long table. She draped herself across the red silk cloth covering the centre, pure seduction aimed right at him.

He felt a surge of heat as his eyes roamed her body - her hair fanning out in an instant unkempt wildness which he always loved. Placing his hands on her ankles, he slid them up to her knees, her skirts gathering as he exposed more and more of her. Squeezing firmly, just below her knees, he inched her legs apart.

She smiled, sometimes a slow burn was welcomed - usually it infuriated her, but she wouldn't allow him to tease her for long.

“You have far too many layers on. You really could wear a lot less clothing you know..” he said.

She laughed, “what, and make it easy for you? You wouldn’t respect me in the morning,”

He laughed, his hands moving more forcefully up the bare flesh of her legs as he pushed her skirts as further up, only pausing when he reached her thighs.

She stopped laughing when she felt his hands change position and move to grip her thighs firmly underneath, his fingers digging in so hard she knew he would leave bruises.

She closed her eyes as her mind was filled with a rush of memories; their roughness with each other, the intensity of the many times they had danced the same dance in this room that they forbid anyone else from entering. Their own private domain to ravish and demolish each other.

A flash of guilt swept across her as she recalled how concerned the Doctor had been to see that she had injuries that she could not explain, but it melted away fast as the Master’s hands dug deeper into the sensitive flesh of her thighs.

“Stop playing and fuck me,” she ordered.

His eyes darkened as he tightened his hold and roughly yanked her towards him. She laughed as the back of her head hit the table from the force of his action. He held her thighs in a painfully tight grip, as he stepped between her legs, “anything for you sis.”

The table was hard against her back, and his forceful thrusting drove her firmly against it repeatedly. She knew she couldn't get a good enough grasp on him to gain control from the position he had her in, so she enjoyed the moment, knowing she would have him at her mercy soon enough. They always played that way.

He knew she wouldn't miss an opportunity to switch positions with him, so he reached down, tearing her blouse open, buttons breaking free and scattering across the table before he expertly popped the front latches of her corset open. The glare and annoyed curse she directed at him just spurred him on even more - she hated when he wrecked her clothing just as much as he did when she ripped at his, but he was in the mood for destruction, so he let it consume him.

He made his move fast, one hand with a firm grasp of her hair and the other on her hip, turning her over until she was bent over the table. He knew she still liked that position, it had always been his favourite. He quickly worked the zip on her skirt, and got of the last barriers of clothing. Returning his hand to her hair, tangling it in his hand and gripping hard, he gave a few hard slaps to her arse, loving the way her skin reddened quickly under his hand. Her groans only enticed him further but he decided to change tactic.

Letting go of her hair, he reached under her, grasping at her breasts without restraint. She moaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure at his rough handling of her, urging him to continue.

“Say it,” he demanded, “you know what I want to hear Missy.”

Every nerve in her body felt on edge waiting to succumb to him. She spoke the words he loved to hear her say.

“I'm yours,  _ Master _ .”

He slammed hard into her, barely noticing the candles topple over as he drove her into the table, the faint smell of burning only spurring him on even more.

Moving his hands to her hips, he gripped hard, groaning as his breath came in shorter bursts.

“Don't you dare,” she said, “...you know how...I like...to handle you.”

“Missy….how do you expect me to hold on when you talk like that?” he said, frustrated.

She turned her head to the increased flicker of light on the table and watched the edge of the red silk slowly burning. The smoke it was producing showing that it was simmering well, and would probably catch fire quite fully soon.

Her own breath quickened as she drew closer, and he pulled out of her, smirking at her groan of frustration.

Bending down over her, he whispered in her ear, “not until I say you can.”

She moaned, there was nothing more delicious than being with him. While her body had new responses that he was still learning, at their essence they both had the same base desires. He knew exactly what to say and when - as did she.

From the moment, many months before, when he asked her if she would take her clothes off and give him a preview, there had been no holds barred. They were simply unable to show any restraint with each other's desires. The universe could implode from the paradox they dwelled in but neither of them cared in the slightest.

Focusing on the small flames beginning to emerge, she groaned as he slid one hand up, grabbing hold of her left breast, the other sliding down and grasping hard against the wetness between her legs.

“Come,” he ordered. His breath hot against her neck.

She came hard, as the flames began to catch, spreading along the cloth further and gaining height.

He stood her up, holding her still facing away, but flush against him, her breath ragged as his hands traced the outlines of her curves for several minutes while she came down from her orgasm.

“We really are quite exquisite,” he said with admiration, as he placed a kiss on her neck. His lips lingering over the bite mark he had given her, treating her bruised skin with gentleness and respect.

“Mmm,” she moaned, melting back against him, “yes we are.”

“I think the rooms on fire,” he said nonchalantly.

“Yes, it is,” she said, a dark edge to her voice  as she turned to face him, enjoying the way she was already beginning to ache all over from their encounter. “I like the flames. Let it burn.”

She took his hand, almost delicately, as they  stared hard into each others eyes. She moved, leading him nearer to the flames, as she selected a chair as close as possible to the growing fire.

He let her lead, waiting patiently as she pulled the chair out and turned it around. He walked around to stand in front of her, his back to the chair, and he smiled as her hand met the centre of his chest before  she pushed him into the chair.

He stretched his arms out, resting them on the table as he locked eyes with hers. The dark, hungry look she wore exciting him as much as the heat from the approaching flames behind him.

“Don’t move,” she warned, as she got to her knees with a mischievous smile. He groaned, it was no surprise that she knew exactly how to please him. He wondered if he would ever have anyone else who could make him feel this good.

He arched his head back, inching closer to the heat from the flames that were now taking hold fast and in danger of becoming out of control.

He had come close to refusing to restore her memories, interested to see how the game between them would play if she was off kilter, disadvantaged. But ultimately he needed her to be what he told her she really was at her hearts - dangerous. She revelled in it - embraced it head on, with no concern for risk. He had set her free, reminded her of who she was and set his future back on a road he could be proud of. The pride he felt in his work only brought him closer to the edge.

He laughed as he felt a flicker of sharp heat against his head, then groaned as she toyed with him.

“Missy,” he hissed. “I have to...”

He groaned in frustration as the heat of her mouth suddenly left him.

“You want me to beg?” he said.

She looked up at him, her eyes dark against the rising flames lighting up the room, “and  _ how  _ do you ask?”

He looked into her eyes, wanting her to consume him completely, “Mistress...please, let me...”

She gave him a satisfied smirk, “come for me Master,” she said.

He moved his arms, not even noticing the blistering of burns forming on the back of his hand, and tangled his hands in her hair, grabbing firmly as he lost control.

When she eventually rose, she gave him a smile as she picked up their clothes, offering him her hand. He took it and stood up.

“We’re beautiful,” he said with an appreciative smile.

She returned his smile and placed a hand on his shoulder, turning them both to face the flames. She surveyed the growing destruction, and started laughing, watching the fire taking hold of more and more of the room, spreading wildly up a heavy velvet curtain which had come loose from the ropes tethering it to the wall.

“We should tell the guards to come in and put this out, clean it all up, or we’re going to have a far less sophisticated dining experience tomorrow,” he said.

Missy giggled as she slipped her corset around her waist, making no move to leave the room.

Her laughter was infectious and he found himself joining in while he tapped her hands away and took over buttoning up her corset.

They carefully dressed each other, taking time to smooth down material and brush off dust until they had once again achieved perfection, although Missy did not care at that moment that her hair would take much longer to address.  

Both chose to ignore the flames, and they found themselves kissing deeply and passionately, before finally breaking away as the fire decimated the tablecloth and curtain, leaving only burnt material and ashes in its wake.

  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter. If you skipped it, last chapter Missy and the Master basically had lots of M rated fun while the room burned around them.  
> Now it stays at a T rating.   
> The Doctor is worried that he's losing her. The Master is sure he’s fixed her.  
> Now they have a little work to do.

It was interesting to her, how different she could be at times - how easily she fell. She studied herself in the mirror as she carefully pinned her hair up - the Master had made a mess of her hair and it had taken considerable time to de-tangle and make herself presentable again. The ache from the fresh bruises she now wore was a delicious reminder of how solid the oak table actually was, and it didn't give her one ounce of regret. She smiled at the memory of the flames licking against his hand, knowing he had his fair share of battle wounds too - how they liked to mark each other.

“That’s better now, isn't it?” she asked, her eye moving to the reflection of the man seated at the table behind her.

Turning, she met his eye, smiling malevolently as she walked across the room to perch almost delicately on the edge of the table, close to him.

He looked scared, chained to the bolt on the table, his hand close to the dark stains of blood that had never been cleaned - because it was atmospheric. The guard and remained in the room, even when she had spent over thirty minutes taunting the prisoner while fixing her hair. She had hoped the guard would get bored and leave but he just stayed there. She wondered if the Master had told him too - to test her, test her treatment of the humans.

She pushed aside her conflict. Right was a strange concept - being with her past self felt right - righter than anything, and when they talked of destruction and power, there was no question of where she stood.

Here though, alone with her own choices, another right took over. She never felt good about hurting the humans - well most of the time. A few had been plain misogynistic and while she didn't take it personally, it did irk her now that she wore a female body, so she did take pleasure then, and that she would not apologise for. Everyone had a right to indulge themselves once in awhile, surely.

“Leave us,” she said simply, hoping a direct order to the guard would be enough.

He hesitated, then turned to leave, his hand almost on the door when it opened. Her heart thudded when the Master entered, dismissing the guard with a wave of his hand. The guard left, somewhat disappointingly. Missy assumed the sick bastard wanted to watch.

The door closed and they stared at each other. He smiled, and she mirrored him, neither displaying a shred of warmth.

“Apparently,” he began, “some of the food has taken upon itself to try to escape, and this one,” he said, “knows where they are hiding themselves.”

She swallowed, trying to keep her facade from slipping, “we can’t have that now, can we?” she said, working hard to keep an icy tone to her voice

“Let’s play a game,” the Master said, with an artificially bright tone to his voice. “It's called -  _ feed the monster _ !...no? That doesn't do it for you? How about.. _ lets turn you into liquid food because it’s less messy _ ? Or HOW ABOUT “ _ let's take our new scary device for a test run because it needs a human guinea pig. _ Now that ones MY personal favourite.”

He smiled cruelly at the terrified man, before shaking his head and meeting Missy’s eyes as he pulled a small silver ball out of his pocket, placing it in the palm of his hand.

She couldn't fight the excitement she felt building at his words and the surge of adrenaline as he spoke, his words fading into the distance as her eyes focused on the metallic ball her younger self now held in front of the man’s face. It really was a major engineering achievement and she couldn't help but feel proud at what they had accomplished, despite the horror of what it was about to do.

He let go, very slowly, and it remained in the air, hovering in place.

“Let's get the new toys out sis.”

As it began to spin, she turned away.

Under the ground, far deeper than the tunnels where so many of the people Missy had relocated were shrouded from the horrors both above and below them, the Doctor relentlessly travelled. The entire place was connected - tunnels, passages, ladders. He guessed that the camp might have been part of a giant sewage network at some point in the past - when the world was a bustling, colourful place, teeming with life above ground.

He walked on, climbing down whenever he spotted a ladder, and instinctively moving down to the heart of the network of what appeared to be an underground maze. He wished for a moment that he had taken Bill or Nardole with him - he always preferred it to being alone. He found that he had the habit of talking to himself otherwise - he needed to talk through his theories to help fine tune his plans. But neither of his friends would be thrilled with him about his excursion to not just allow Missy into the TARDIS, but to then somewhat blindly follow her plan. They were certainly safer where they were - in reality he wouldn’t have taken a risk if he wasn’t the one in the driving seat.

He knew he was nearing the creatures - he could sense the power - like radiation leaking from them. The master had always been more adept at telepathy, and for that reason would be able to tune in to these creatures at a greater distance then he was. Now that he was much closer, he was verging on the edge of their consciousnesses and he knew that he had to try to communicate telepathically. With that, his oldest friend, both of them, would be aware of him reaching out to the creatures.

He needed to work out what these creatures were - they were sought after by power hungry Time Lords, but as they regained full strength, he considered what their motivation would be - and whether the Time Lords would have a battle for control on their hands. Missy had said her previous self had not been successful in harnessing the power in the end, but with her aiding him, hindsight was most definitely a valuable tool.

So much depended on which way she decided to go - and the Doctor could only continue to cling on to hope.

Missy had fought her urge to return to the tunnels, sure that the people who considered her something between a resistance leader and a reforming psychopath, would see the horror in her eyes.

She had tried not to look, but she couldn't fight it - watching their impressive feat of engineering at work, seeing it’s first test run. Next they would conduct a proper field test - it was beyond their expectations and they were both excited by their accomplishment.

She missed that - being free to use her talents and creativity to make the most impressive and imaginative displays. She used to measure her success partly on how afraid people were of what she had done. Now though, she found that it actually soured her enjoyment. She wasn't sure when that shift had happened.

All that remained now, was for one final test before the toy box was opened, and every ball launched into the camp. It would take minutes to kill every living human there - and that was what she had come back to stop.

Why then, hadn't she stopped it yet?

She purposely avoided herself - not wanting to risk him edging into her mind and seeing her conflict. She doubted that locating the Doctor was a good idea either - she would have a hard time hiding it from him as well and she didn't need either of them pushing her.

All she knew was that she had to get her head straight - decide on her path and her ultimate goal without either of them forcing their influence on her, and before she got too caught up in the physicality of another fine dining experience.

Temptation was simply her nemesis.

The Master sat at the table, blackened in places by the eager flames that had threatened to consume them both. His burned hand rested on the ruined shreds of material as he idly tapped the rhythm of the drums against the hard surface that he had been slamming Missy into earlier. He was barely aware of his action - the sound was no longer in his head but habits were so hard to break.

They were so destructive with themselves, he sometimes wondered how far they would go - but that was all in the thrill. She had that edge - she knew, he was certain she did  even if she denied it, when he would regenerate, but she was the wildcard, her days so far into his future. So long living in a way that angered him - allowing herself to be kept as the Doctors prisoner. That was not a future he could be proud of, yet she was so obviously him - their minds, their desires - so clearly as one.

Her thoughts had kept drifting to the Doctor - she couldn't hide her mind from him when they were intimate, any more than he could from her. His own immediate future was the only barrier he could not pass. It concerned him, what he had seen - that she so wanted the Doctor to see something good within her - it  _ disgusted _ him. He had to fix his future - to undo the mess she had made of their legacy.

Her mind was chaotic, every time he peered inside. So much conflict, so much  _ thought _ . The familiarity he felt was an odd comfort - but what else she had rising to the surface - regret, guilt, sadness - they were like toxins within her that were poisoning their essence. He had to deal with that…..somehow. He had to fix her.

And then there was the Doctor. She had not so much as attempted escape from him in 70 years. She knew how, she was more than capable  with years more experience she could do it much faster than he could have too - she could have got out whenever she wanted, yet she didn't.

He balled his hand into a fist and slammed it down hard on the charred surface of the table. The bang echoed around the room.

She had been intimate with the Doctor. Laughed with him, felt  _ happy _ with him. He talked of releasing her from a prison and she only talked of staying with him. Travelling with him.

She was betraying herself. It angered him.

He drifted from his thoughts of his future when something else tugged at the edge of his mind. A sensation that only buzzed in his mind's peripheral when another Time Lord was in his presence. He knew it wasn't her - they were too close, and their minds simply slipped right into each others. She had no secrets that she could shield from him. Only his own future - blurred and unreadable by their close proximity.

And he felt only disappointment in her for thinking she could even attempt to shield her mind from him about her disappearance. Where she had been - taking  _ his _ TARDIS to return to the Doctor, and worse - bringing him back with her, to  _ their _ empire, about to burst to life and give them power they had never felt before.

“Oh sis,” he said, his voice laced with disappointment and grief, “what have you done to us.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Master/Missy chapter but nothing too smutty. Stopping here as the formatting is a pain when i'm copying it over. It's completed though so will upload more and not leave it open for too long.

Hours later, and she had centred herself. A long walk through the camp and the surrounding charred wasteland had helped to settle her mind. It was littered with humans who hid in the shadows when they spotted her - scared to be dragged away like so many they had known had, and never seen again. Unaccompanied by guards she was no threat to them - she had no wish to get her hands dirty, or to torment them without provocation, but they weren't to know that. At least their fear of her meant that she could enjoy a peaceful uninterrupted walk - their hushed, frightened silences were quite appreciated.

She felt him before she saw him, and headed inside the building, making her way straight up the ageing wooden staircase that threatened to collapse with every step she took.

She walked up to the top, and then through a smaller door and finally up a narrower, less worn staircase, the steps more solid and less precarious, until she eventually reached the attic.

It was filled with an eclectic jumble of mismatched items - broken and discarded, forgotten memories of whomever had once resided in the house when it was somebody's home, full of warmth and humanity - now dark and silent.

Through the wreckage of the attic - she walked the short pathway that had been cleared, the debris of splintered wood, and broken furniture haphazardly stacked either side as she stepped towards a large red sofa. It was situated right in front of a large part of the roof that had at some time been subjected to heavy damage, most of the panelling ripped away to reveal a very large open expanse of the night sky beyond.

She took a moment to stare out of the makeshift window and look across at the camps. Small fires were dotted around, indicators of where the humans were all located. Their attempts to stay warm would be beacons for their own deaths when the time came.

“Darling, I have to know - why did you bring him here?” he said.

Rounding the couch, she waited for him to move from his position, lounging on the plush cushions, moving up enough for her to sit down beside him.

“Maybe we need him.” she said, her voice distant as she gazed at the fires scattered across the ground beneath them.

“Need _him_ ?” he said in disgust, “we have _us_ , we don’t need him! He’s messed with your head, made you forget who you are. You've let him _keep_ you, work on you, make us like him. He’s always wanted that - remember? Remember how we died rather than let him keep us as a pet?”

“Yes,” she whispered, “yes, of course I remember.”

“You’re damaged. It’s not your fault really - he’s done this to you - to us.” He said, as he reached out, his hand stroking her cheek gently. “He's given you a sickness but you can get better. Whatever it takes… I will fix you.” he paused, “when we leave - how about you keep one of them?”

“What do you mean?” she said.

“Well,” he said, as he leaned in, placing a light kiss on her cheek before shifting down until he was laying on his back, resting his head on her lap.

Her hand instinctively moved to his head, her fingers running through his hair idly.

“If it would... _help you_ , you could pick a human - take it with you when we leave. I don't know how to help you, but I have to do _something_ \- i’d tolerate a pet if they stayed out of my way - if  that’s what you need - maybe if you focused all this _feeling_ on a pet of your own it wouldn't be so….widespread. So pick one to keep and we can move them out of the target zone, you can do all the _hugging_ you need to...just get it out of your system and don't do it in front of me.”

She looked down at him first in surprise then affection, “that’s actually very thoughtful of you. I don't think your tolerance for humans would last though - i’m not sure mine would either. I don't want a pet, I’d tire of them soon enough, they can be irritating. I just don’t want…...”

He looked up at her, grabbing hold of her hand when it stilled on his head, bring it to his lips as he placed a kiss on her fingers. “don't want what?”

She hesitated, uncertain what she really felt. “My head hurts. I feel so confused sometimes that it physically hurts. You're right - he’s really messed us up. I don't know how it came to this.”

The Master looked up at her, one hand holding hers. “Your head hurts because you've been going against our nature. Don't forget that.”

She shook her head. “It doesn't matter, nothing will matter soon. I despise this place. I just want to burn it all to the ground. I can almost feel the heat from the flames - we’re so close now.”

“That’s more like it,” he chuckled, “see, we have hope yet, that this affliction he has given you won't destroy us.”

She slumped back on the couch and he sat up, mirroring her posture as they both gazed out at the dark sky.

“Remember how happy Lucy was when we proposed?” she said, “she really did love us at the start.”

“Lucy?” he said, surprised, “yeah, well, she’s the perfect example of why not to keep pets. No one else is worthy of marrying us, than...well, _us_.”

She glanced at him, a light amusement suddenly dancing across her face, “marry me.”

He turned to meet her eyes and laughed in surprise, “marry you?”

“Yes. Why not?”

“Missy,” he began, his mind whirling with possibilities that were probably better left unspoken, “do you think it’s possible for us to…?”

“No.” she said firmly as she cut his words off. “Really, _no_. We are a walking paradox as it is, i’m sure that somewhere in all of space and time there is a failsafe to stop us reproducing with ourselves.”

He grinned, “I would love to see the Doctors face if we broke through that fail safe.”

Missy threw her head back and laughed, his grin broadening at her genuine reaction.

She stopped with a frown as she noticed he had suddenly  grown serious, his gaze now one of curiosity. She waited for him to speak - intrigued with the cause of the curiosity he now wore.

“Was that a proposal just now then sis?”

Realising that he was now quite serious, she stared at him in disbelief, “you’re considering it??”

“We could abduct someone to marry us, then dispose of them creatively afterwards - our first act as a married couple.”

She couldn't help but consider the scenario - despite her suggestion being borne of humour at first.

“You know what would make it extra special?” he said, enjoying how enthralled she was becoming by his proposition.

“The honeymoon?” she asked, and the deliberate suggestive tone of her voice made them both laugh.

“Well yes, but we could enslave a group of humans, get them to ‘excavate’ a tomb - some old fashioned grave robbing, all that fine jewellery people like to bury their royalty with - then we give each other rings truly fit for us. Imagine the Doctor - restrained, forced to watch as we kissed at the altar.”

She stared at him, amazement and intrigue dancing in her eyes, “you really are serious?”

He reached out, his hand slipping to the back of her neck, inching her closer to him, as he spoke - his words almost reaching right inside of her mind. “Till death do us part.”

They kissed, with much more gentleness than was the norm for them - it was slow and passionate, and she felt lost as their minds slipped dangerously close. The darkened skies, expectant fires scattered beneath  them and the breeze from the cool night air felt absolutely seductive - she thought for the first time, that maybe _this_ was right. Maybe all she needed to do was pull together the scattered threads of her mind, and fit them back together to work out what her true essence really was.

“We’ve always been destined for such greatness Missy,” he said, smiling as she turned to her side, throwing one leg over his as she shifted closer to him, leaving not even the smallest gap of space between them.

“Once we hold this power in our hands, we will truly master everything; the Doctor’s prisoner, or hold in your hands the greatest power in existence - is it even a question.”

“No, no it’s not,” she said, as she shifted, her knees then either side of him as she straddled his lap. She kissed him, harder and more forcefully than he had, “ _till death do us part_.”

Pulling the threads of her unravelled mind into place, she focused on not what would be judged as right, but what _felt_ right, in the moment. As they fell back on the couch, their hands making swift work of each others clothes, she let it all go - the promise of power was a welcoming pull and she did not want to resist it.

Later, as she lay on the couch, the moonlight casting it’s glow on her body, she stared out at the stars, with her past standing in her peripheral vision, his gaze cast down toward the camp.

The time was drawing closer, and she knew that she would need to set her own moral compass to the path she would choose. Collateral damage - small sacrifices - blips. They should not have clouded her judgement, evoked unwelcome feelings of compassion and regret. A desperate need to have both the immense power that was coming, but somehow, some way, also have mercy on the humans below.

The child saw through her layers and held on tight to what she chose to see - the good she chose to see in her - the hope that Missy would not let her down and would in fact, be their saviour. Missy really wished she wouldn't do that. She didn't want to be a source of hope when she didn't even know where she truly stood.

Her eyes moved to the discarded clothes scattered across the dusty floor. Neither of them had taken care this time - his TARDIS would replace their ruined clothes, but it was never authentic enough for her.

She surveyed her clothes, relieved to see that only her blouse was torn, but annoyed that she would have to wear a replica for now. Their impulsiveness and lack of care had ruined the completeness of her appearance. She decided that whatever happened - she was taking a trip to Earth to the late 1800’s once she left. She really needed more backup clothing.

“Once it's all burned, Let’s throw an engagement party sis - we can grab some of the humans, have them serve us. The Doctor can be our guest of honour.”

She turned on her side, propping herself up on her arm as she smiled at him, “Now who's the one wanting to keep pets.”

“Only when they have their uses.” he paused, his tone serious. “it’s almost time to make one final test run before we launch - and elevate ourselves to the true greatness we deserve.”

Glancing at her, he noticed that her eyes were focused on the camp - “Missy - if I had known how long you had been inside that vault I would have come for you along time ago.” he said with conviction.

Her eyes drifted to his, “Is that some kind of apology?”

“No, just a thought - but we have endless time now, to achieve anything. He hasn't won - you know who you are now. Seventy years - it’s only a blip.” he said.

“A human lifespan,” she said, her eyes drifting back to the flickering fire lights in the distance, “ _just a blip_.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

The fires had glowed and crackled - a backdrop on the dark canvas of the night surrounding them. They painted it with screams and panic, and the metallic glint of so many of the orbs operating their fine precision as they spun in unison. 

They had stood hand in hand, blocking the only exit to the shack as the occupants watched them in fear. Missy smiled as she cast her hardened stare at them - moving her eyes slowly over them all. Internally she felt lightheaded and tried to fight the panic rising up within her. She pushed aside the way she tensed, willing herself not to shout at them all to get out and run. Her mask was firmly in place - she had chosen her side, and she fought to hide the way her hearts raced and her head spun.

He smiled as several of the small silver balls crashed through the one remaining glass plane in the shack. It was over in ten seconds.

For the first two seconds she froze, then at seven seconds she realised she was crying.

He grabbed her shoulders and spun her round to face him. “Come on Missy, don't do this. It’s a work of art,  _ your  _ art.”

He had pulled her to him and kissed her gently, his hands caressing and soothing her. She continued to cry, even as she kissed him back. He pulled back, wiping her tears from her face as he watched her in confusion.

“I really don't understand why you're crying. You’ve done a good job here. Really,  _ very  _ good Missy,” he placed another kiss, tender and gentle on her lips, “so very good.”

She stepped back, breaking away from his hold as she took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down, “I’m sorry. Just give me a minute.”

He watched her and smiled, “come on sis. Enjoy our success - we’re going to bask in it soon enough.”

She nodded, nausea rising as she swallowed and began to regain control over her tears.

**One hour later**

The Doctor stood in a vast open expanse of ground - almost like water in the way it rippled gently. Beneath it he could see shapes - many many shapes, moving slowly, shifting, dark masses under the almost pleasant carpet of shimmering blue.

“Eight hundred and seventy two.”

He turned at the sound of her voice. She stood a few meters away, her gaze directed toward the expanse of ground before them but her eyes not focusing on it at all. She appeared vacant, if anything.

He waited, expecting her to elaborate, but she remained still and silent as she gripped the handle of her umbrella tightly.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

Still staring straight ahead, motionless, she spoke with a cold detachment, “that’s how many people are left on the surface. There were 892 until, oh...thirty minutes ago. We tested the procedure I perfected, just on one of them at first. It wouldn't have worked so well if I hadn't advanced it beyond the basic operation he had engineered it to. With my work it was efficient and precise and I replicated it. We walked into one of their shacks - gave it a wider test run - it killed twenty people in under ten seconds, extracting anything edible and converting it into liquid, everything else is vaporized. It’s quite clever if I do say so myself - and I even watched this time,  _ didn't even _ turn away. Funny thing is, I didn't even remember all the weeks of engineering until I came back here.”

He felt sick. “Missy,  _ what have you done? _ ”

She sighed, still not betraying any hint of emotion.

“I must make sure you’re listening before I start giving you all the juicy information.  _ Pay attention, love. _ I had a plan - something honourable, decent - you would have been impressed,” she paused with a sardonic laugh, “but I could only focus on the feel of the power as it surged through my veins - of what I’d be able to accomplish with it. I don't even remember what the  _ Doctoresque _ plan was now. Never mind, it just goes to show doesn't it - I’m the monster you told your pet I was.”

“Missy,” he said as he took a few cautious steps closer to her, “you’re not a monster. You did come back here with the right intention. Whatever you’ve done - it isn't too late to save the rest of them up there. Please - help me to do that. It’s your design, you know how to stop it.”

She expected anger, shock and disappointment, but the gentleness in his voice she heard instead, threw her.

“And then what?” she asked, turning her head but still not allowing her eyes to meet his. “Maybe it’s necessary - their deaths. At least what I have designed is kinder - it’s faster and its painless this time. I convert all these people into a nice energy drink and drip feed it to these creatures under the ground here. Then I can extract enough of their life force  - killing as few as possible, to harness the most incredible power.”

“It’s not kinder Missy - it’s painless, and if you designed it that way then that’s something I want you to keep in your head - your motivation for that, but almost 900 people being slaughtered is not kind,” he paused, taking the final steps toward her as he grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him. “And you need to end this now, because  _ you are not _ a monster.”

She felt her tears threatening to betray her, and tried hard to remain stoic and expressionless, “I can encapsulate the raw power here.. _.” _

“Why?!” he exclaimed, exasperated, “what are you going to do with it?”

“Nothing good, i’m sure.” she said, as a sob escaped her, “but _you_ could. If I gave it to you - it wouldn't be wasted, imagine if you could change entire ecosystems, power a weapon that could wipe out every Dalek, without even having to hunt them down - it’s telepathic - the possibilities, Doctor, are endless. This time - you could accept my gift.”

“I don't want that!” he exclaimed, “you crave this but haven’t got any concrete plan above actually achieving it. Missy, do you actually want this?”

“I want the feeling of controlling that kind of power,” she whispered, as she raised her eyes to meet his. “It's been seducing me here for so long.”

“You don't want to create weapons, or change ecosystems - or anything else  - so act. Now. Take the power from his hands but don't give it to me. End it yourself. Neutralise the power leaching from these creatures.”

“How?” she whispered, hating how exposed her emotions became around the Doctor as she felt her tears beginning to fall.

“How long before it’s launched to wipe out the rest of the camp?”

“As soon as I get back up there,” she said quietly.

“Then don’t. Stay here, and end it.”

“I...do want to end it,” she whispered.

“Good. That's good Missy. We can evacuate all these people and no one else has to die,” he said.

He paused, waiting for her to take his words in, willing her to listen to him, but his hope was quickly dashed.

The Doctor closed his eyes in dismay as the sound of laughter echoed around the caves.

Missy barely reacted, and didn't even turn her head as the laughter stopped, replaced by the sound of the Master clapping slowly.

“Oh good try Doctor, you’ve really appealed to her sensitive side haven't you? Look, you even made her cry,  _ great job _ , you’ve really worked on her all these decades you've kept her like a  _ pet _ .” Stepping into view, he met the Doctors eyes, his stare of anger blazing into him. “But look how quickly I got her in touch with her...true self. Tell me - what do you think is going to happen here?”

The Doctor stared back at him, unwavering, “that’s in her hands.”

“Oh! Really! Is it? It’s in _her_ hands? You think I wouldn't put some fail safes into this design, in case she started relapsing into this... _ sickness _ , she has -  _ no offence sis, like I said, it’s his fault, not yours _ \- but i’m going to cure her, undo the damage you've caused to my future.”

Missy turned slowly, her gaze drifting from the Doctor to the Master, neither taking a moment to break their resolve and look away from the other.

“Compassion - regret….emotion...that’s not sickness,  _ it’s decency _ . You’ll get there too you know - but you need time...to evolve," the Doctor said.

The Master’s jaw tightened as anger flooded through him at the Doctors words. “It  _ is _ a sickness - but she’s my future and so I will heal her of her affliction. Missy darling,” he said, “after your little heart to heart with him just now, you really only have two choices.”

He stepped forward, standing behind her as his hands grasped her shoulders, pulling her and walking her backwards with him until she was well out of the Doctors reach and their bodies were flush against each other.

“You go be a good girl,” he said, his breath hot against her neck, “and listen to your jailer, and live the next few hundred years as his prisoner. You really believe his promises to set you free, after what he knows you’ve done here? Surrender everything about who you are to _ him _ , or you come with me now, and he can listen to the sounds of hundreds of people being liquefied, while we drink in the power as it bursts through the surface.” He turned her around to face him, his hand stroking her cheek, while the other tangled into her hair, tugging slightly, “us, Missy...we’re not supposed to be kept like a caged animal. We’re supposed to drink in the power that we, and only we should hold.”

His lips ghosted across her neck, as his voice dropped to a whisper, “let’s go master it all.”

She nodded mutely, winning her fight to control her tears. It was all so simple when her mind wasn't being pulled in opposite directions. She had so much conflict in her mind - alone with the Master she felt right, she slipped so easily back into who she had been. Yet guilt, regret, doubt, they crept in, increasingly so.

She shifted slightly until the Doctor was in her view. It struck her that he was looking increasingly more dismayed. She had noticed that she seemed to have that effect on him quite easily. Averting her eyes from him, she gained control of the swirling conflict in her head as she reminded herself of her choice.

The Master pulled her close to him, smirking at the Doctor, before pressing his mouth firmly against her neck. She winced as he sunk his teeth in, biting her just a little deeper than she liked. She wanted to bite him back twice as hard, but this wasn't the time for foreplay.

As he stood back, releasing her hair, his other hand remaining with only a light grip on her waist, she turned casually to fully face the Doctor. Her heart and mind both screamed at her to walk toward him, to tell him she had made a horrible mistake in this intimacy with her past. She just wanted to go with him, but instead, she smiled with no flicker of warmth - her voice hard and full of the same anger her younger self had directed at him.

“I am not your  _ pet _ .” she said coldly.

The Doctor closed his eyes, “Missy no, no, you never were, _ never _ . You  _ know _ that. You know what our relationship is - I just wanted to help you. We gave those years of our lives to  _ each other _ \- I never saw you as anything less than an equal, - you were just...dangerous...you know that,” he paused, taking a breath as he opened his eyes and met her intense gaze, desperation dripping from his words “you  _ asked _ me to help you.”

“I was playing a game you idiot,” she spat, “you just did your best to brainwash me so I couldn’t even remember what my plan  _ was  _ after a while.”

“Missy,” he sighed, “ _ please.  _ You know that’s not true.”

“Go find yourself some  _ human _ pets instead - i’m done here,” she said, hating how every word she spoke made her feel increasingly worse.

She felt her mask of composure slipping and turned and walked away, the Master blinking in surprise at her swiftness, and not hiding how impressed he was at how easily she shot down the Doctor’s plea’s.

The Doctor kept his gaze on her as she stopped and cast a glance over her shoulder at her younger self, “ _ do _ come on, we have work to do - and bring him. He can’t be trusted not to try and destroy all our progress.”

The Master gave the Doctor a triumphant smile as he advanced on him. The Doctor’s eyes were fixed on Missy as she walked quickly away from him. He barely noticed as the Master approached, his sole focus on Missy. Not even noticing the sudden movement in front of him until it was too late and something had struck him solidly on the side of his head.

Slumping to the ground, his eyes immediately closed as he fell into unconsciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

She had no plan, and only an assumed guess as to his bigger picture. He didn't know her TARDIS was there, and would assume she would have to leave with him. She could always change her mind, it didn't matter which direction she felt she was falling towards, there could always be a Plan C. She just didn’t know what she actually wanted. One thing she hated however, was when her hard work was ruined, and she had spent a considerable time filtering out humans to relative safety. Whether she was proud of that on some level or as disgusted as her former self would be if he knew, she just wasn't sure. Morality was such a murky concept.

She had leaned against the console, the black obsidian surfaces warming as she touched them. She enjoyed the feel of the smooth surfaces under her hands, not even realising at first when she had began to walk, keeping in constant contact with the machinery as she circled the console repeatedly. 

Feeling his eyes on her she glanced at him, “shouldn't you be fine tuning things about now? Not standing there staring at me?”

He laughed, “I’m just wondering when you’re going to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” she asked as she continued her slow route around the console, her hands running over the controls almost lovingly.

“ _ That _ ...don’t start getting affectionate with the hardware - you know how these machines get - it’ll start refusing to take off unless I stroke it or something.”

Missy laughed, “I’m surprised she takes off for you at all, you  _ do _ neglect her. You  _ positively _ hurt her feelings.” She left his annoyed gaze and her eyes fell to the console as she continued to circle it, “I really was  _ quite _ mean to you, you must be quite the masochist to have never just de-materialised without me and ran away.”

He shook his head in astonishment, “well, i’ll leave you two  _ girls _ alone then shall I and go make preparations, or are you going to come with me?”

She halted, her demeanor switching in a split second before turning to him, as she picked up her umbrella, “We shouldn't leave the Doctor alone out there for long - an emotional punch wasn't enough - he’ll be feeling all rejected and angry and hurt about now, and that will spur him on. He will be plotting ways to stop us - we need to keep close to him - plus it’s fun taunting him. Imagine him out there, listening to the sounds of all his precious humans being turned into energy drinks.”

The Master smiled, “He really shouldn't miss that.”

She smiled back at him, but felt somewhat shaken by the sudden rush of dread she felt. Her own words were bothering her - that wasn’t how it was supposed to work. The more she spoke the worse she felt about it all, and she wondered whether she truly was afflicted with some incurable case of compassion. 

The Doctor had a lot to answer for. 

The Master didn’t seem to notice, smiling at her as he offered her his arm. She took it happily, “we do make a very attractive couple, don't we?” she said.

“Yes,” he said with an admiring smile as he made a show of allowing his eyes to roam greedily up and down her body. “We really do.”

They had strolled through the camp, the scattered fires lighting their way, walking toward the house. Some of the people were brave enough to peer from the shadows, uncertain as to how to take them - two people looking as if they were on a date, having a pleasant walk in the park - they could look so benign at times.

They came to a stop in front of the Doctor, neither acknowledging him in his semi conscious state kneeling on the ground, his arms chained behind him to a post.

The Master let go of her arm and turned to face her, her instinct to move with him, turning her in a fluid motion along with him. She made the first move, her hands moving to his neck as she pulled him towards her, her mouth meeting his hungrily. He responded eagerly, one hand tangling in her hair as the other roamed her body freely. 

The fires crackled around them, the only light in the darkness of the night save for the dim flickering of the oil lamps further away in the house. She moaned in pleasure as the Master moved a hand to her breast. 

Without turning his attention away from Missy, the Master was aware that the Doctor had roused and was taking in the sight before him. It only spurred him on and he got to his knees, tugging Missy only slightly before she followed suit. Missy grabbed his lapels and kissed him hard before pushing him back. Understanding what she intended, he grinned as she pushed him to the ground.

The Doctor stared straight ahead, not allowing them to force him into their game.

Straddling the Master, she laughed as his hands grabbed her hips, holding her in place, their bodies achingly close. 

“She’s a work of art Doctor, isn't she?” he said, before turning his head to stare at him. “You love us, don’t try to deny it. But all those years with her, trying to turn her into some pathetic idea you have of goodness. All those years and you didn't  _ show _ her you loved her. So let me help you out here Doctor. I’ll show you what you should have done with her,” he paused, enjoying the tension - the signs of the inner torment the Doctor was battling ferociously with now that his gaze was wavering, his eyes flitting to  them. “Pay attention and you might learn something.” 

Missy kept her eyes firmly on the Master, not allowing her gaze to flit even for a split second toward the Doctor as she dropped her body down, covering him, her mouth moving to his, both parting their lips and moving with remarkable fluidity with their hands, almost like a mirror image. The Doctor would have found it almost fascinating, two pieces of the same puzzle reacting to each other so exactly, if he was not so dismayed at the thought that he was losing her to her past.

“I did.” the Doctor said. 

She sat up, still straddling the Master, the scattered fires crackling around them as her hands pushed open his jacket while she moved to work the buttons of his shirt.

“I did tell her I loved her. Maybe not in words, maybe not clearly or obviously enough, but I did in the way I could at the time.”

She stilled, her fingers no longer eager to pop open the buttons of his shirt as her eyes closed.

“I told you over and over for years,” he said, his eyes firmly on the Master before moving back to Missy. “I told you I wanted to help you, not to end you - and I told you when I promised not to end your very existence, but to guard you for a thousand years. It wasn’t a victory over you - either of you.” He shook his head, no longer sure which one of them to direct his words at when it was really for both of them. “It wasn’t about power or control - you’ve...both of you, killed and destroyed without conscience. Of course I want to change that part of you. Not change you.  _ Not you _ , but that  _ part _ of you, because you are so much greater than senseless destruction of life.”

The Master laughed, Missy remained silent, focusing on the man underneath her, the man she once was, and using every ounce of self control she possessed not to look at the Doctor.

“You finished yet?” the Master said, “just, me and sis are in the middle of something here.”

“NO I’M NOT FINISHED!” The Doctor shouted, and Missy’s gaze left the Master and focused on the ground next to him, the damp earth forming into mud which had smeared beneath their movements.

“You were never able to see the universe any differently,” he said, his words now directed to the Master, “but she can. She _ is  _ different to you - and you hate that, that’s obvious, but you will become her and you will see through her eyes and you  _ will  _ change.”

The Master laughed cruelly, as Missy found her gaze drifting back to him. Her eyes blank and cold as she met his. He moved his hands then, caressing her thighs under her bunched up skirts. “Sweet isn't it darling? How you've had this affect on him. Hey, I’ve got an idea! Know what might be fun?”

He paused, waiting for her to snap out of it  - her gaze still blank and unfocused.

“What?” she whispered.

He squeezed her thighs unexpectedly and hard, and she blinked. Happy that he had her attention and that her thoughts were not drifting to the Doctor, he smiled, “let’s break his heart.”

She sat back, her hands roaming his body idly, “let’s go release the toys if you are serious about breaking his heart. No more games.”

The Master smiled, “let’s do it then sweetheart. We can give him a lesson in how to please us while this place burns around us.”

She laughed, “You’re giving me ideas - let’s not kill him. As a pet he might have..well...all kinds of uses.”

“What a good idea - I imagine we can invent some very creative ways to torture him,” the Master laughed, his focus solely on Missy as he enjoyed the way their words would be taunting the Doctor.

She stood up and the Master did the same, getting to his feet a fraction faster and extending his hand, which she took, smiling appreciatively. The Doctor watched as they both smoothed down their clothes and brushed flecks of mud off in equal annoyance. It would have been amusing to the Doctor had he been in any other situation.

Missy finally met the Doctors eyes and stared hard at him as she moved her hands up, running her fingers through her hair as she pulled out pins, tossing them to the ground without care. She turned her head to the Master and smiled seductively.

“I’m really quite beautiful.,” he said, watching her in admiration.

Missy stepped towards the Doctor, slowly and purposefully, her eyes dark and intense as she gazed hard at him. He felt utterly defeated as she closed the remaining distance between them, his defeat changing to confusion when her hair flowed down across his face and her lips brushed his ear.

Her hands ran down the backs of his bound arms, stopping when her fingers brushed against his. 

His hearts leapt as he felt her firmly press a hair pin into the palm of his hand, holding it there until she felt his hand close around it.

“You think i’ve changed?” she said, her breath hot against his ear, “Sorry my love, but I really haven't.” 

Squeezing his hand once more, she stood up, staring into his eyes with no expression, “you lose Doctor.”

The Master took her arm and they turned their backs on him, continuing their casual walk as if they had merely stopped to enjoy the view. 

The Doctor could only watch as they walked away, a part of him willing Missy to look back - to give him something more, anything to tell him that she wasn’t going to go along with the plan to essentially murder hundreds of people. All she had given him was the means to escape the chains holding him in place, but no indication as to her intention. He wasn't as deft at escape as she was, and she would know that it would take him some time to manipulate the lock with the hairpin from the angle he was restricted to. 

The fact that she had given him even the smallest shred of hope however, was something he chose to hold on to fiercely, because she truly wasn't the same anymore - and his belief in her would not end. Even if she did break his heart, still he would not let go of the smallest shred of hope that he held for her.

As they approached the house, the Master stepped forward, holding the door open for her, and she smiled sweetly before stepping inside. She liked it when she could play like that - she would rather they just spent the evening admiring each other than conduct mass murder, but she knew it wouldn't last. 

They made their way to the dining room, Missy sitting at her end of the table, her arms resting on the ornate arm rests as she casually sat back and watched him preparing. 

The Master sat at the other end, his eyes closed as he began activating the telepathic controls on the devices. Under the table, a buzzing began, as a large number of silver balls began to activate, bumping against the table top as the Master worked at fine tuning the coordination. It didn't take him long and soon they were emerging from their resting place, floating above the blackened table. Over one hundred small metallic balls, hovering and rotating in the air above the burnt table.

“Missy?” 

Missy’s eyes grew wide at the sound of the child’s voice, and she turned to see Veesha watching the hovering balls in wonder. 

“Is it a trick? Are you magicians? It’s really clever.”

The Master opened his eyes, instant annoyance at the interruption to his concentration quickly replaced with a malevolent smile.

“No honey, it’s not. You need to go back downstairs,” she said hastily.

“ _ Downstairs _ , Mistress?” he asked, his voice laced with suspicion and accusation. “Now what is downstairs? Have you been keeping pets down there? I know I said a pet might be good for you - but really? And _ honey? _ You even named this pet? Isn't that..sweet.”

“She’s irrelevant to this,” Missy said, waving her hand toward the now spinning balls. “Just forget about her,”

“Oh no, no, NO. I don't think so.” He said, as he turned to the child, “I trust  _ Missy _ has been taking good care of you?”

Missy closed her eyes but opened them abruptly when she felt a touch on her arm. Veesha had crossed the room and stood beside her.

“Yes, she takes cares of us. All of us. She got me a present on my birthday.”

“Oh sis, really?” he said, shaking his head. “I can't let us go on like... _ this _ . You really have gone over the edge. I can’t risk not retaining these memories when you eventually get the sickening urge to go run off and save children and puppies. I have to fix you, right now, so I don’t have  _ this  _ as my future.”

“Missy - i’m scared,” Veesha said, as she heard the Masters words. She threw her arms around Missy, who stood up, wrapping her arms around the girl in response. 

“Shh, it’s OK, I won’t let anything bad happen,” she said, as she held her and placed a kiss on her head. “You need to go back, you're safe down there.”

The Master watched her with a mixture of fascination and contempt, “all this compassion you are crawling with sis - what  _ can  _ we do about it?” he said, pausing for dramatic effect. “OH I know!” he said, as he started laughing, the balls spinning faster as they began to take flight. “It's show time!”

The Doctor eventually freed himself. Missy’s words had struck him with an anguish he could not simply push aside, but left with a lingering hope that would not extinguish no matter what her action. The telepathic murmurings of the creatures were itching at his mind, but not yet strong enough to attempt communication with. 

He knew his only options now were to get as many people to safety as possible, and try in whatever limited time he had left, to do what he had appealed to Missy to. For that he would need her TARDIS. She wanted him to survive, but beyond that, what her plan actually was, he couldn't be certain of. He had a sinking feeling that she might have planned this in its entirety, ensuring that her TARDIS was within her grasp, locking him out. He would be left unable to follow either her, or her former self when they left. 

He could only hang on to the hope she had left him with - that she was no longer the same person that she used to be.


	13. Chapter 13

His boots crunched against the gravely uneven surface of the ground as he walked towards the only light he could see - the flickering of lamps in the window of the main building where he had confronted Missy about her relationship with her past.

Walking into the building he paused, treading carefully as he listened and felt for any indication of another Time Lord’s presence.

It didn't take him long, and he turned in the direction of the bedroom he had first overheard them in. Silently approaching, he first noted the crackling sounds of a fire, and he inched the door open, realising it to be contained within a fireplace, but the room itself, quiet. Walking to the centre of the room, he stopped suddenly when he met Missy’s eyes.

She looked up at him from her position, seated on the floor, her back against the wall. “Hope Doctor. Is a horrible thing,” she said, her voice flat and tinged with defeat.

He frowned, stepping toward her uneasily, her stillness unsettling him, "no it's not. It's vital.”

Missy gave a bitter laugh, “they all had hope in me. Too much hope. Veesha came up from the tunnel. She wasn’t supposed to do that. She was scared, she ran to me. I held her. He said he was going to cure me.”

“Missy,” he said, deeply concerned when he realised how laden with grief her words were, “what happened?”

“She couldn't help but look at it - the spinning balls looked like magic to her. I told her not to look at them. I took her hand and ran. I got down to the tunnels but it was just too fast. _  I  _ made it that way after all,” she paused, taking a deep breath and trying to remain focused enough to keep talking.

“I got to my TARDIS, opened the doors. They didn't all make it in. I didn't check - I can't. I can't face knowing who lived and who died. I shoved her towards the door then grabbed Mila. She...she flowed through my hands like water when it got her. I don't know if Veesha made it. They died all around me. It was over so fast.”

The increasing detachment in her voice was alarming him more and more.

“He walked in so casually and took me in his arms, and then do you know what he did?” she said. “He apologised for killing my pets!”

The Doctor quickly closed the distance between them and knelt down next to her. He reached for her attempting to pull her into his arms but she shoved him away with as much force as she could muster.

He fell backwards, but simply got back into the same position, kneeling alongside her. Just watching her with concern and empathy. She had lost people she cared about in the most horrible way. He didn't expect that she even realised how much she _did_ care - her grief was coupled with so much anger at herself. Whatever progress she had made, her past had torn everything down around her.

“Let me hold you. How you're feeling - I can't take it away, but I won't let you go through it alone.”

“You’d love that wouldn't you?” she said bitterly, well aware that her anger was misdirected but not caring. “This is what you want isn’t it? You want me to feel? Well congratulations, i’m swarming with pain.”

“I don’t want you to hurt Missy, of course I don’t. When you open yourself up and care about others you have the capacity to hurt when they’re hurt, to grieve if you lose them. Those feelings are devastating at times but they’re part of being compassionate and caring so I _want_ you to be capable of feeling, but no I don’t want to see you hurting, I truly, truly don’t. Please, let me take care of you.”

She closed her eyes and he wrapped his arms around her without delay, holding her close to him as she began to cry, hard. His hearts broke at the way she sobbed. He had seen her cry, but never like that, never so utterly hopeless and despairing.

He placed a kiss on her head, whispering words to her in Gallifreyan that he doubted would hold any comfort, but he needed to do something, anything for her.

They say silently, his hand stroking her hair as she eventually calmed down enough to speak. When she did however, her tone unsettled him. He had not seen her display such emptiness and he was worried.

“I tried to get them all in my TARDIS but there wasn't enough time,” her voice haunted and lost.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” he said, stroking her hair as he placed a kiss on her temple.

_ “I _ refined that - It was primitive and basic before I enhanced it. There’s so much blood on my hands Doctor.  _ So much blood _ .”

“You can still make a difference here Missy, you can stop any more deaths.”

“My engineering has killed over 400 people in the past year here doctor, yes, that process started well into my past, but then I came here and I upgraded it. I slowed the whole operation down in various ways, but does that really make a difference?”

“Yes, it does - I mean that. You did what you were capable of to change your past, and you  _ are _ responsible for death here, but you’ve also saved lives this time, and that really does matter.”

She remained silent as she stayed in his arms, the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, a sensation that she wanted to keep hold of and never let go.

“I'm so sorry Missy,” the Doctor said gently.

“I didn't let it complete the program,” she said quietly.

“What do you mean?” the Doctor asked, his hearts racing in anticipation, not daring to assume her meaning.

“He thought he could use my engineering then expect me to sit back and watch him run the show. It didn't occur to him that I programmed them and It operates not on  _ his _ telepathic waves - but on  _ ours _ . So I forced all the orbs down underground before they could do any more damage. They were swarming the camp by then and they killed plenty, I wasn't fast enough to stop it - but they haven't killed them all.”

He placed another kiss on her head, his eyes closing as he felt a surge of admiration and pride for her, “Missy that's wonderful, you saved a lot of people up there.”

“I have a telepathic link to the system I created. 150 people still died up there Doctor.”

Easing back slightly he rested his hands gently on her shoulders and looked into her eyes, “that also means that you _saved_ hundreds of people Missy, that's incredible. It truly is.”

“But the ones that mattered to me died!” she said raising her voice in anger.

“I'm guessing that last time they  _ all _ died. Every person here. You changed that. You have made a colossal difference,” he said as he brought a hand up to stroke her cheek. “You've done so much good here today.”

Her eyes dropped away from the warmth of his gaze. His approval and appreciation both things she wanted but unsure how to deal with or whether they were even justified.

“I have done nothing to feel good about Doctor. I've done horrible things and couldn't stop these people dying. People I kept safe for so long. People who had hope and belief in me that I would save them. There's no good in that. I failed them in the worst way.”

He sighed, her grief and guilt would not let her look at the bigger picture, and he doubted it would for a long time.

“Where is he Missy?” he asked.

Missy pulled back slightly, making some space between them but not attempting to leave his arms. She looked down at the ground. “I was angry. They didn’t deserve to die. Veesha - was never scared of me - always saw goodness,  _ always _ . He pushed and pushed and pushed. He didn't know my TARDIS was there and thought they were all dead. He said he didn't understand why I was upset - said I was  _ poisoned _ \- that he would cure me whatever it took. I...had to _ end him _ .” she paused, the tone of her voice abruptly changing to a controlled, calm curiosity as she steeled herself alarmingly quickly.

“Is that a suicide attempt or murder? What do you think?”

“What did you do?” he asked, fear creeping in to his voice.

“I….shot him. Laser screwdriver….Doctor?” she said, her face ashen as her blank eyes met his. “I didn't regenerate here. I've changed my past….he might not regenerate...oops.”

“Where is he?”

“In the dining hall,” she replied.

“Ok, I’ll go check him out and make sure he’s stable. If he is - i’ll keep him that way, if he’s not...I don’t know, but we will fix this -  _ somehow, _ we will fix it.”

He paused, knowing he needed to tread carefully.

“Do you...want me to open your TARDIS first and check on everyone in there?" he asked carefully.

“No.” She replied abruptly.

“OK, we won't do that right now,” he said. “When you're ready to.”

He didn't want to leave her alone. He was afraid that this would push her totally over the edge - but which way she fell was not something he could predict.

She began to switch off - becoming vacant very fast as she withdrew into herself. He had little choice but to physically haul her up from the floor and hold her up as he walked her out of the room and toward the dining hall.

She was walking but appeared completely unaware of it. He hoped in a way that she would stay like that until he got her back into her TARDIS. He didn't know what he would be dealing with once the shock wore off, and passively cooperative, while unsettling when displayed by Missy, was at least easy to handle while they were still on dangerous ground.

Once they finally reached the hall, his breath hitched as his eyes fell straight on the Master, slumped forward at the end of the table. He pulled out a chair and sat Missy down, taking her face in his hands and whispering to her that he would fix this. She gave no response, and he felt a flash of fear.

Making his way to the other end of the table, he took hold of the Master and pulled him back upright, shifting his body weight until he would stay in place. “Come on, open your eyes.” he muttered angrily, as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned him.

He looked in dismay at the readings, his life signs were barely there, but there was no sign of regeneration beginning. He swallowed and looked back at her. She remained motionless but had turned and was now staring straight past him at her self. Her face betrayed no emotion, her features expressionless. It scared him.

“I don't regret it,” she said, so quietly he almost missed it.

“Well, I DO!” the Doctor exclaimed, raising his voice. “If he doesn’t regenerate….” he paused, taking a steadying breath, trying to remain calm, “as if the two of you...doing what you were doing wasn’t enough of a paradox!”

Before he knew it, he had crossed back to her end of the table and had stooped down, one hand at the back of her neck, the other stroking her hair away from her face. He was beyond the ability to form words.

He closed his eyes as he placed a kiss on her forehead, then stood and crossed back to the Master, torn between his need to help them both. Only one option really remained - he was left with no choice. He immediately placed his hands on him as he closed his eyes and let regeneration energy flow into the Master.

She blinked, the sudden glow of regeneration energy snapping her out of the shock she was in. “Doctor…” she said, “don't.”

He stumbled backwards suddenly as the Master's hand abruptly shot up and gripped his forearm, hard. The flow of light stopped as the Doctor’s concentration broke, and he stood staring at him, his breath ragged as he leaned one hand against a chair, trying to recover, his arm held tightly in the Masters grip.

“Thanks,” said the Master, as he stood up, releasing the doctors hand, and pushing his chair back roughly behind him, “I needed that.”

His eyes moving straight from the Doctor to Missy, he took a step forward,  “I am not happy with  _ you _ . I might even call the wedding off. That was.. not... _ nice _ .”

Missy watched, giving no reaction even as he took two steps toward her. Their eyes remained firmly locked on each other until he crashed to the ground in front of her.

She stood up with barely a glance cast his way as she walked around the table, stepping purposefully over the Master as she moved to the Doctor, and placed a hand on his arm. “Ok?” she asked, her voice still alarmingly devoid of emotion.

The doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at the Master - this time the readings appeared stable. “He’s just unconscious so yes, yes that's much better,” he smiled at her, bringing his hand gently to her cheek as he wiped a tear away.

“You’re an idiot.” she said, batting his hand away. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

He put his arms around her, holding her loosely at first as she tensed. When he felt her relaxing he pulled her closer to him, “yes, I should have.”

They remained in each others arms for sometime, the Doctor keeping a watchful eye on the Master, but Missy giving him no concern in the slightest. He finally moved, stepping back but holding her hands in his, “let's go to your TARDIS, we can take the survivors and get them somewhere safe. Then we can come back here and neutralise the creatures - then something needs to be done about him, but let me just get you home then and I’ll take care of him.”

“Home?” she said with a humourless laugh, “my TARDIS is my home.”

“Missy - I'm sorry, but I can't let you be alone - you've been through too much here. You need to stay with me in my TARDIS for now.”

She looked at him, her tears ceasing as her gaze became increasingly more vacant once again, “he is right you know.”

The Doctor froze, “not a single thing he said to you had any shred of right about it.”

“Look what I did here. I'm responsible for so much death. You can never set me free - look how easily I fall.”

“Look how much you  _ feel _ .” He said. “Look how much you  _ care _ .”

 


	14. Chapter 14

As the Doctor began checking on the survivors, Missy had gone straight to her library. Not willing to see the faces of the people who had made it. It would only serve as a stark reminder of the ones who hadn't. 

He knew that even if she wouldn't face it anytime soon, that one day she might. He made a list of their names of the survivors from the tunnel, and was relieved to see that half of the survivors were children.

Returning to her, he sat by her side in the library holding her hand. She would not read the list and he didn't push her to. Her only question was if all the children had made it. He told her how many she had saved, but it made no difference when she asked about Veesha and he had to tell her that she was not among the survivors.

Missy felt herself grow rapidly cold and numb. The Doctors voice - gentle words of comfort and reassurance were lost to her. She turned to look at him in confusion as he spoke, vaguely aware that he had been talking to her and was now asking her a question but she felt too numb to make sense of his words.

“Missy. I'm taking you to my TARDIS,” he said. “I need you to stay there with Nardole until I get back." he said, as he watched her with concern.

“Just take me back to the vault,” she whispered.

 

Nardole stood in confusion as he glanced around the expansive collection of rooms that now existed in the TARDIS. He knew the Doctor had made her a room but was stunned by how extensive and detailed it had all become. 

He watched the Doctor sitting on what he assumed was Missy’s bed - a beautiful four poster oak bed with elegant lace curtains.

The Doctors hand gently rubbed circles on her back as he spoke quietly to her. She gave little in the way of reaction and Nardole found it distinctly unsettling. He couldn't fathom what was going on, and stood back, silently observing until the Doctor finally rose, placing a kiss on Missy’s head before telling her to try and lay down and rest.

He rose an eyebrow, wanting to question the intimacy between them, and the creation of an entire suite of rooms for her.

As the Doctor walked past him, he simply gestured for him to follow him.

Nardole followed, walking to the console room, his growing questions kept silent as he waited for the Doctor to give some explanation. He didn't ask, not quite knowing where to begin, so he waited until the Doctor was ready.

Leaning against the console, he looked at Nardole, “I need you to keep an eye on her - not just look in, I mean stay with her at all times.”

“Why not just put her back in the vault - if she hasn't told you how she got out, then leave her in the containment field?”

“No, no Nardole, it’s not that simple. I don’t want her left alone. Just stay with her, i’ll be back before you know it,  _if nothing goes wrong_ , but in case it does - whatever she says or does to annoy you, stay with her. She’s safest here.”

“Sir, she has a lot of access in there to things we haven't vetted. Clearly she's been through something but don't let that make you forget who she is. What she's capable of!”

“I know you don't like this, but she  _ has _ changed. I’m not blinded by her current state - I've taken precautions, locked access to her gardens..”

“Gardens?! She has a garden…. _plural_ gardens??” Nardole exclaimed.

“Focus, please Nardole. Yes she has gardens. I'm putting a containment field at her door - but I don't want it used unless it's absolutely necessary. I've explained that to her, so keep it down unless she gives you concern.”

“With all due respect sir, she gives me concern every day!”

“Look,” the Doctor sighed, “just keep it down unless she gets….agitated, or...manic. Otherwise just stay close by her.”

“Doctor,” said Nardole, “this is a bad idea. She should be in the vault.”

“I stopped her execution. Made a promise to guard her. I need to keep that promise, for her sake as much anything else - but it doesn't have to be in a prison. She can be more than this - more than she appears to be. Think of the good she could do if she chose to. If I show her different paths - and let her choose - she just might pick a better one.”

“Your optimism that a psychopathic killer will happily go straight when she's not even one tenth into the time you vowed to guard her is not the most believable thing you've ever come up with. She needs  _ less _ choice,  _ less _ rooms, and  _ less _ un-vetted items that she can probably craft into weapons of planet wide destruction!”

“She let herself care about people and they died because of her own actions. She can't handle it. I don't want her to go through that but it shows how much she's changed. She can be  _ better _ . She can choose to be good. She's saved a lot of lives but she can't even consider that. She's in shock and I don't know what she’ll do. Stay with her, watch her and don't let her out of your sight until I get back.”

Nardole nodded, the sincerity of the Doctors tone striking him, so he returned to her room, making a mental note of the location of the controls for the containment field. He only hoped the Doctor had thought to put enough bio locks in place.

He entered the room and placed a hot chocolate down on the table next to her bed, and sat down on a chair nearby, not crowding her. She didn't drink it the last time, but Bill always seemed to be grateful at the gesture, so he found it instinctive to do the same with Missy. Not that she seemed to even notice.

Missy seemed different - he couldn't place why exactly, but his impulse was to give a gesture of kindness, so he did so, not expecting any appreciation or gratitude from her. It just felt the right thing to do. He didn't know if she understood his motivation, simple gestures might not matter to her, but it didn't stop him.

She met his eyes, and stared at him wordlessly. He held her gaze, and wondered what on earth he was supposed to do, “err, do you want to talk about it?” he asked, not sure quite what he would do if she did actually confide some horror to him.

He felt a guilty sense of relief when she simply averted her gaze to the floor.

He waited, letting her know she had the opportunity to talk if she wanted to, but she didn't speak, and soon laid down on her side, turning her back to him. He didn't press her, and simply pulled out a book, letting her have at least the illusion of being alone.

She really was the most complicated person he had ever met. He assumed it was a Time Lord thing. The Doctor gave him plenty of headaches after all - even if 90% of his headaches were somehow associated with Missy.

Before long, he had read the entirety of his book, lost in the story, and was not remotely aware that she was awake and now sitting up, watching him with intensity.

He jumped slightly when he met her eyes, realising the distress she had been in had been replaced by something much harder.

“Ah, good, you're awake. Feeling...any better?” he asked feeling slightly nervous at being off guard around her.

“Yes eggman,” she replied coldly. “A nap. That's fixed everything for me. Now I'm all better. Hmm - you know what  _ would _ help though?”

Nardole shut his book and shifted in his seat, not at all confident in dealing with her outside of the constraints of the vault.

“What's that then? he asked, fighting the urge to stand up and back towards the door.

He felt like a lion tamer whose act was about to go horribly wrong.

She paused and smiled, “I’m hungry.”

He stammered, “err..hungry...for food?”

She placed her hands down on the bed either side of her, rocking back slightly as she laughed, “ _no._ For cyborg parts. But, a sandwich too - you might want to make that first before I remove your arms.”

Nardole hesitated, trying to ignore her threat, “I'm under strict orders not to leave you alone.”

“Oh well then, I’ll just have to faint from hunger. Gosh, wouldn't the Doctor be unhappy about that..... _if he was going to come back,_ ” she said as she casually inspected her nails.

“If?” Nardole said, realising that he did not have the slightest idea what Missy and the Doctor had been involved in. “He’s going to be back any minute.”

Missy smiled at him with pity, “ _ oh _ , you really do believe that don't you. Let me tell you a secret. Come here.”

He frowned, stepping slightly closer to her as she beckoned for him, but stopping before he got too close.

Leaning forward she whispered, “just between us, he’s going to die there. But let's pretend I didn't tell you that.”

She gave him an exaggerated wink and watched as he processed her words. He was conflicted. Worried. That was perfect.

“We can help him though,” she said, sliding her hands back along the bed cover until she was casually reclining. “But I can't do that without piloting his TARDIS. We have two choices if we want to save the Doctor.”

Nardole hated that she was drawing him in, but his concern for the Doctor was too great not to listen.

“Ok I'm listening. What are our choices?”

“He couldn't just give me time to pull myself together could he? NO! He drops me back here like some fragile  _ human _ . I need to pilot this TARDIS back to him. Now it will take me around...oh...ten minutes to bypass the bio locks, so there's the choice.”

“How is that a choice?” he asked, confused.

“ _The choice_ , is whether you are going to be sensible and cooperate, or interfere and try and stop me. SO - what do you choose?” she said with a smile, “conscious or unconscious?”

  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

Nardole was the very definition of worried. 

He stood at the console, watching Missy as she accessed the controls. He had secretly timed her, and it took her longer to decide where to position her umbrella in the console room, (and he wasn't entirely sure where the umbrella had come from) than it had to bypass the bio locks. It was unsettling that she could take over the TARDIS with such ease, pushing over the security that been put in place specifically against her as if it were the most simplistic of tasks.

On one level he was quite impressed - he couldn’t help it, but on another he was fearful of what she could now do. What she could always have done if she had just decided to. Very little actually stood between her and whatever she chose to do - and that was a worrying thought.

“I suppose this is where the Doctor picks up his humans and brings them headlong into _mortal danger_ ,” she said nonchalantly, as she operated buttons and switches that he hadn't even seen the Doctor touch before. She could have been about to jettison him out into space and he wouldn't have had the slightest idea.

“Er, well it's not quite like that. He doesn't just pick his friends up and drop them into life threatening situations…”

“ _ Friends _ ?” she asked, appearing genuinely confused. “No, he doesn't. He abandons them on dying worlds, locks them in vaults - that kind of thing.  _ Anyway _ , ready?”

It wasn't a question. She materialised, briefly checking the screen then startling Nardole by suddenly skipping over to the door. She grabbed the handle before twisting round to glance over her shoulder, giving Nardole a confused look.

“Oh - what do you do? Do you follow him? Make  _ helpful  _ suggestions as we walk blindly into your possible demise? Stay here and get some popcorn out while you watch it on the  _ tele? _ ” she said, glancing at the screen.

“I’m not leaving you for a second so let's go,” he said, with a confidence he certainly did not feel. She shrugged and pulled the door open, stepping outside.

They had materialised in almost the same spot that Missy and the Doctor had arrived in earlier. She didn't want to go back there, but it was the easiest way to ensure accuracy with the time and location, so she felt left with little choice.

This time Veesha would not greet her as she stepped outside.

She felt herself violently shudder as soon as the TARDIS doors closed behind her. Staring straight ahead she ignored Nardole and tried to shake the heart wrenching memory of the absolute trust the little girl held in her. Her mind was battered with sickening grief. Images of the people she had tried to save being liquidised around her.  She realised that she had instantly began trembling and closed her eyes, trying to keep her reaction under control.

Nardole watched her silently, alarmed that she was visibly shaking, and felt somewhat of a relief when she eventually took an unsteady but deep breath, and began moving.

Her steps grew more confident with each passing minute and he could tell that she had experienced a shift - she was detached, barely acknowledging him, and moving with purpose.

He wasn't sure which was better - this demeanour worried him - he knew what she was capable of, but she seemed completely in control. Her somewhat traumatised state before she had slept had made her seem almost human. He was sure she would dismantle him for the mere thought of it, but she was feeling things he had never seen her feel before. However - it was a demeanour he felt awkward with because a Time Lord in shock was not something he quite knew how to deal with - but she didn't look like she was capable of killing anyone at that moment. Now - he wasn't so sure.

He had kept up with her as she moved through the tunnels fast, making her way with purpose down through the underground passageways. She seemed more and more grounded with every step she took, and all he could do was try and keep up with her and hope she wasn't leading him into disaster.

“Missy...mind telling me where we’re going?” he said, as he hurried to keep up with her.

“ _ I’m _ going, this way,” she said, raising her umbrella in the direction of a dimly lit tunnel. “ _ You, _ are just following orders like a good pet, and not letting me out of your sight, so that means  _ we  _ are going on a fun excursion. Not claustrophobic are you?” she said, as she glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’m taking a short cut.”

Nardole grumbled an inaudible protest at being called a pet, but continued to follow her - he really didn't have much of a choice. He could only hope she would lead him to the Doctor.

The short cut involved crawling through a dark narrow passage, barely enough headroom to get up on their hands and knees, and Nardole could swear the walls were actually closing in on him after only 3 minutes. He followed behind Missy, muttering his annoyance and protesting loudly, accusing her of deliberately making this as difficult as possible, and choosing the darkest, dustiest spot to crawl through on purpose. Eventually she came to an abrupt stop, her patience tested as she turned her head enough to glare at him over her shoulder.

“Oh  _ do  _ shut up! Do you think I want my favourite outfit covered in dust? And if you keep complaining about the dark, I could always dismantle you and use you for parts to make a torch, now stop complaining and  _ do not ask me if we are there yet _ if you value your continued existence.”

Nardole sighed and resigned himself to the fact that Missy did have some kind of reasoning, her point about getting her outfit dusty was valid after all, given that she took such pride in her appearance, and he didn't fancy being dismantled any time soon.

Finally they came to a stop, and he was relieved to see a bright band of light cast into the distance.

“Shush,” Missy whispered.

“I didn’t say anything!” Nardole whispered back in protest.

“Well you were thinking about it, so be quiet,” she hissed. “I suggest you stay here so you stay in one piece, but if you insist on coming with me, just keep out of the way.”

“Away from what?” Nardole asked.

“Oh,  _ stop asking questions _ . How DOES the Doctor put up with this? Away from mortal danger. My former self - which would also qualify as mortal danger. Any flashes of light or anything that gives you the urge to scream or run. In fact if you get the urge to run, just go with it.”

“If we had just stayed on the TARDIS we could be having tea with the Doctor about now, because I don't think you told me the truth did you?” he whispered crossly. “The Doctors not in any danger is he? You lied to me!”

Missy laughed, “you’re shocked that a _ psychopathic killer _ told you a fib?”

Nardole felt instantly uncomfortable, “ah...you overheard me calling you that...wait how? You were in shock in another room!”

Missy shook her head, “Ninth Legion.”

“What?” Nardole said, confused.

“You didn't question how I was watching you all on your excursion to Scotland but you question how I heard you from a different room?” she laughed. “The pets never ask the right questions.”

“I am _not_ a pet!” Nardole said, indignantly. “Stop calling me that! So, how  _ did _ you hear that?”

“Hush!” she whispered suddenly, “we have company.”

They crawled silently to the mouth of the passage, the crawlspace actually becoming slightly wider as they neared the entrance.

She crawled out, somewhat awkwardly, pausing with a curse to insect her jacket pocket s it snagged on a rock. Satisfied that it was not torn, she then briefly turned to face him, speaking quietly, “try not to get killed. You’re not as annoying as the other pets, and i’d probably feel something I don't particularly want to if you got damaged beyond repair.”

“Wow,” Nardole said, stunned, “are you being nice to me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said dismissively. “You’re the one who supplies me with caffeine and sugar - that’s all.”

He shook his head, “well, i’d hate to have no one to smuggle extra pick and mix sweets too, so it’s mutual.”

“I’m _ really _ going to go and do something evil now after this conversation,” Missy said - her tone quite serious, and causing Nardole a flash of panic. He couldn't always tell when she was being serious or it was simply dark humour. He opted for dark humour.

“You don’t have to do something evil you know, we can just go back and I can slip you an extra large cup of pick and mix instead?” he said hopefully.

She smiled at him, and he was struck but how genuine she appeared at that moment, but she quickly turned away, pushing the moment firmly away and instructing him to stay out of sight.

Once he eventually scrambled out of the crawlspace, with Missy standing impatiently at the mouth of the tunnel uttering annoyances at him. He found cover behind some nearby rocks and ensured he had line of sight of her, but only just made it to safety when he quickly noticed that she was not alone.

Standing motionless, her hand grasping her umbrella handle, she stared out across the pulsing ground. It was now throbbing, far less solid and now resembling a thin membrane as the shapes of the creatures below the surface pushed up against it, ready to burst out.

She didn’t need to turn around, she could sense immediately that she was not alone. She was glad on some level that they were both here - at least the Doctor would get a grasp of the engineering involved in her work, and appreciate how she had modified her TARDIS in preparation of one day finding a compatible power source. On the other hand, he might try and stop her, and as much as she had always enjoyed their games, she was set on giving her younger self an impressive show too, so she didn't want any interruptions.

She hoped they would both just stand back, enjoy the show and admire her skill, but she doubted that would happen.

She turned around, smiling as her eyes moved from the Doctor to the Master. Walking casually to the side, she propped her umbrella against the rocky surface and reclined against the dryer part of the wall. Taking out her lipstick, she applied it then smiled as she pressed a small button at the base of the tube.

The Doctor and the Master turned at the sound of her TARDIS materialising and she gave a quick laugh before her expression became serious. Putting her lipstick away, she stood up straight, raising her hands high as she clapped twice.

The doors to her TARDIS flung open and a beam of light shot out. The Doctor and the Master both rounded the TARDIS from their respective points until they were next to each other, and both able to glimpse inside.

The central column had opened up, and the beam of light was shooting out, straight toward the creatures behind them.

“You might want to move out of the way,” she said casually.

They both stepped aside, the Doctor toward the wall on the opposite side, and the Master toward Missy.

“ _ Sis _ , this is not yours to take. I’ve worked at this for months, you can’t come in and take it for yourself. Be reasonable now.”

“Oh but you will have it dear," she said, as she stepped closer, draping her arms around his neck as she inched up to place a kiss on his lips, “you’ll have it once you become me.”

“That’s not what we agreed _Missy_ ,” he spat, but was silenced again by a kiss.

She closed her eyes and before long the air was filled with the spinning metallic balls. Her arms still around his neck, she hung slightly as she swayed from side to side. He gripped her hips in an attempt to still her,  She tilted her head to watch the creatures, as they all moved in unison as they shot into the ground, piercing the membrane repeatedly.

“Missy, don’t think i’m gonna let you take all this for yourself,” the Master said angrily.

“Consider it an investment for your future,” she said as she dropped her arms from his neck and took his hand, “you know this is coming.” 

She dropped her hands from his neck abruptly, and twirled away until she was out of arms reach.

“When i’m _you._ I don't think so.”

The membrane began to crack as the creatures pushed up through the surface, but as the beam of light from Missy’s TARDIS intensified they began to shriek.

She didn't, flinch, just watching as their life force was sucked into her TARDIS.

“Missy, this will kill them. This is a highly evolved telepathic species. You’re hurting them - they’re projecting their pain, can’t you feel it?” the Doctor said.

“I just need enough to have an alternate power source for my TARDIS, I won’t take everything, they could still survive,” she said.

The shrieking sound grew louder as the creatures rose out of the ground into the open expanse below them. Unable to move far and paralysed by pain, they writhed in agony.

“Missy, that’s enough - if their power source is that strong then you have more than enough by now. Let them go!” the Doctor pleaded.

Missy flinched, no longer able to fight the telepathic projection from reaching her. Pain began to spread through her body, but she pushed it away, knowing it was not her own. The creatures gave one last concerted effort to scream for help however, and her mind was pushed open as they forced inside, filling her with their screams of fear.

Their torment and raw terror as she ripped their life force from them was all that she could feel and she breathed heavily, fighting her desire to take as much of their power as she could. She could handle their panic and their fear - concentrating on pushing her walls back up, preventing them from consuming her mind completely.  

It worked until the terror changed to a deep, smothering sadness as they realised they were dying. The despair was too great and broke through her barriers in an instant.

Missy began to scream.

She was lost within her own mind as the creatures swarmed her consciousness ensuing she heard every moment of their torment. She was aware of nothing around her. The Doctor watched her in dismay as her hands pressed against her head while she screamed at the complete takeover of her mind.

The Master uttered a curse and took a few steps forward in an attempt to enter her TARDIS but the beam was too powerful and he couldn’t get even close to the doors. 

"I can't stop the energy transfer!" the Master shouted at the Doctor. 

He stepped back away from her TARDIS, unable to get inside, and watched in anger as the Doctor stepped in front of her, the Doctors help was the last thing he wanted his future needing.

The Doctor placed his hands on her shoulders as he spoke to her calmly, “let them go Missy, you don’t need any more, let them live.  _ Stop them hurting _ .”

The Master shook his head, knowing the telepathic projection swarming her mind had to be stopped before it caused her serious damage, but hating the thought of the Doctor, and not him, doing it. 

“You can end this and they will still live Missy. End it.  _ Please - _ you know this isn't right, they're giving up despite the pain they're in. They will die if you don't stop,” the Doctor said.

"I can't," she stammered, her breath ragged and laboured, "get them out."

"Stop the transfer. Just end it Missy and you will come out of this with your mind intact. I don't know what this will do to you if you don't stop now," the Doctor pleaded.

She took a deep breath and turned around sharply, the Doctors hands dropping from her shoulders as she raised her trembling arms and clapped her hands again. The beam of light immediately receded and the TARDIS doors slammed closed as the cries of the creatures began to quieten. 

She turned around, dropping heavily to her knees, her head in her hands as she tried to calm her mind, dispelling the feelings that were not her own and centring herself again. She opened her eyes, raising her head just enough, and watched as the creatures rose into the air, circling higher and higher, shrieking in their desperation to break free.

The Time lords watched as more and more lifeforms burst out of the remains of the membrane, shooting up into the air and stretching their wings, circling the cavern until they sensed a hint of air. Suddenly one regained it’s senses and followed the scent of freedom and there was an immediate rush as they all rose up and flew out in a loud flurry. The rush or air as they passed was intense enough to force the Doctor and the Master back against the walls while Missy laid down on the cavern floor, covering her head with her arms.

In moment's, the last of the creatures had found the exit, following the scent of the outside air to their freedom and the cavern was plunged into silence once again.

They both stepped closer to her, but she got to her hands and knees before taking a deep breath and quickly pushing herself up until she was kneeling. She waved them both away, determined to get to her feet without either of them assisting her.

The Doctor watched silently, fighting his urge to just scoop her up and kiss her, as she slowly got to her feet somewhat cautiously, taking a steadying breath before she turned to the Master, “we really could achieve greatness together, but not like this. Come here.”

He sighed and walked over to her as she returned her arms to his neck, pulling him tightly against her, “you will rule worlds, and raise all of humankind from the dead,” she said almost reverently, “you will burn it all before you accept where you really want to be. Kiss me.”

She swayed, her hand going to her head as she winced in pain from the aftermath of the swarming invasion into her mind.

He wrapped his arms around her, taking a moment to steady her. He was angry but he felt an instinctive urge to protect his future. He held her until she inched back and he could see she was feeling more stable, and his hold became quickly more intimate, his hands roaming.

Their kiss was rough and full of anger and challenge, just as it always had been. He pulled away, his hand remaining on her hips. “Despite you attempting to murder me, betraying me and stealing all this for yourself, i’d still marry you sis.”

The Doctor, watching the scene play out in amazement, finally caught sight of Nardole, and they exchanged appalled glances.

“Another time perhaps. When you haven’t destroyed what I care about. You didn't have to kill those people, I wanted to help them,” she said.

“You’re still upset about your pets?” he asked bewildered.

“They weren't my  _ pets, _ they were people I was helping,” she said sadly, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“Well, i’m sorry” he said, sounding somewhat sincere. “I’ll get you another pet,” he said, less convincingly. “We can still leave together.”

“You’ve got a journey to go on yet, i’m not leaving with you - but I suggest you find a way to impress me enough if you want me to accept you proposal,” she said, the lack of humour to her voice causing an instant flash of concern with the Doctor. Concern that she might actually just up and leave with herself if he made an impressive enough display of chaos and destruction.

“Missy, please don't challenge him to impress you,” the Doctor said.

“Do you mind?” The Master said, “this is a private moment.”

He pulled Missy in and kissed her deeply, his hands roaming her body as Nardole and the Doctor looked away, both finding the rocks surrounding them suddenly very interesting. The Doctor tried to suppress the flash of jealousy and dread he felt - she had not turned and left with her former self, after all. She was still there and she had changed her past actions considerably.

She stepped back and met her younger selves eyes. They remained motionless, silently watching each other before he stepped forward, placing a brief kiss against her lips before he turned with purpose and began to walk away.

The sound of his TARDIS materialising filled the air and he kept walking, timing it perfectly so that he arrived at the door the second it materialised. He entered without a glance back and closed the door firmly behind him.

She watched as his TARDIS de-materialised, the dust on the ground beneath it swirling up with the breeze before falling back to the stillness of the caverns floor.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter - it's a longer than average one but I think it works best as one chapter.

Missy turned to the Doctor, noticing Nardole step out from the rocks. She composed herself quickly, walking over to them confidently and ensuring they knew who was in control.

“You two need to organise the survivors," she said, an clear authoritative tone to her voice, "get them on board my TARDIS and keep them in the garden, I don't want them roaming about in there. Nardole, you need to scan and make sure we have everyone, people, especially children, hide when they're scared, so check no one is left behind.”

Nardole looked to the Doctor for conformation and he merely nodded. This was clearly an evacuation plan and there was no need to disallow her the cleanup operation. She retreated to her TARDIS, instructing them how to reach the garden, before moving to her bedroom. She had no wish to watch the people as they were filed through to her garden.

It took two hours., Far longer than she had expected, but some were frightened, not trusting of the strangers who wanted them to go into a box. Eventually, she was in the console room again, relieved that the people had all been contained in the garden as she set the coordinates.

The Doctor entered the room and stood opposite her at the console. Her eyes flitted to him briefly, before returning to the controls. She was being avoidant, he knew her moods well, and avoidance usually hid deeper feeling. He knew pushing her to talk about it was unlikely to work though.

The central column began to move, and she focused on the sound as it filled the room. She had missed that sound.

“We’re here.” she said, “can you and Nardole deal with settling them out there?”

“You saved them Missy, you could help do this part too,” he said gently. “You might find it rewarding, and it gives you closure - that’s important.”

“I'm not a _human_ Doctor. I don't need _closure_ \- I just want these people off my TARDIS, they are probably wrecking havok in my garden, it’ll be weeks to get it back the way it was. Don't worry, I won’t run and abandon you here. I’ll be waiting in the library, then i’ll take you back to your TARDIS.”

“And then what will you do?” he asked.

She hesitated, working hard to steel herself, “well Doctor, I have my TARDIS restored, the universe is mine. I can go anywhere I choose to,” she paused, her hands stilling on the controls as she looked at him, her eyes meeting his with a cold stare. “Not entertaining thoughts of stopping me leaving are you?”

The Doctor sighed, “You shouldn't be on your own right now - stay with me. Let me help you.”

Missy broke eye contact immediately and began operating controls again. The Doctor was well aware that most of what she was doing was unnecessary, she just couldn't meet his eyes or listen to his words.

“You’ve changed Missy, so much, we’ve spent seventy years together, you're _still_ changing, don't walk away now.”

“I’ve been your _prisoner_ for seventy years Doctor! Not your _friend,"_ she spat, "If you want me to go back to the vault. That is not going to happen.”

“No, I don't want you to go back to the vault, I want you to stay with me on my TARDIS -  and don’t minimise what we are to each other.”

She shifted, her eyes flitting only briefly to his.

“We _are_ friends, as well as many other things to each other. Deny it all you want, just like I have for this ridiculous length of time, in all of the bodies we have fought each other in - but we belong together,” he said.

 “I’m sorry Doctor, i’m done,” she said simply.

He felt a storm of panic brewing inside him. He couldn't let her just walk away - not because of the oath, although he couldn't just ignore that, but letting her go would be giving up on her, and he could never do that. He needed to convince her stay.

“Can you promise me that you are going to be safe on your own? That you won't cause harm? That you wont need somebody? Because being alone is ok for a while, but not for the lengths of time that you have always done it. Isn't that why we always gravitate back to each other?”

“Just stop it Doctor. I can't promise you i won't harm anyone, or be lonely, or miss you. I can't tell you if i’m good, or bad, or whatever your concept of rightness is. I feel nothing right now. I really don't care anymore.”

The Doctor walked around the console and reached for her, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms, but his hearts dropped as she pushed him away.

“Leave Doctor. Get the humans off my TARDIS, I don't want to find any strays wandering around.”

She retreated to the library where she had placed her favourite lace tablecloth over one of the smaller tables and was seated drinking tea. She wanted to be cocooned inside her favourite space and away from the noise the relocation of the humans was undoubtedly making. The library was a wonderful enclosed space, large and lofty, but a world enclosed in itself. No sounds from the outside of the room penetrated the oasis inside.

Outwardly she was the picture of control and calm, but inwardly adrenaline flooded through her. She wanted to run - as soon as she was alone in her TARDIS once again. Running as far from the Doctor and the mess of feelings he caused her as she could.

She would run, alone, and not do a single thing with him on her mind. She wouldn't even check up on him, and would definitely not be working any more birthday presents for him. It would be better that way.

Not connecting with anybody meant not hurting, and she always had been alone.  What difference would it make?

The Doctor and Nardole had relocated everybody. They had selected a colony world that was in its early stages. There were basic homes, and the society had moved to the stage of taking occupants. It had taken over 4 hours to ensure the coordinators of the colony had everything in hand and the resettlement was well under way.

Just as the Doctor was ready to leave, he froze.

A little girl stood at the doors to Missy’s TARDIS which had taken the appearance of one of the nearby buildings. Her hand was resting tentatively on the door, no doubt feeling a strange hum that the other buildings did not emit. From the back she seemed familiar - he couldn't be certain, and he wasn't sure that they really could be that lucky.

“Veesha?” he said.

When she looked round in response his hearts leapt.

“You're Veesha?” he said as he smiled at her.

“Yes - You're Missy's friend. Where is she? Is she OK?” she asked, a look of slight concern.

“She’s sad about people getting hurt, but she will be a lot happier once she knows you're OK,” the Doctor said reassuringly.

She brightened instantly and smiled at the Doctor,  “I used my birthday present - I never take it off and I win every game of hide and seek now!”

“Her present to you - can I see it Veesha?” he said curiously.

Veesha quickly put her hands behind her back, but the Doctor instantly spotted the bracelet on her wrist.

“Missy said never to give it to anyone. _Ever._ I promised.”

“Well, I'm Missy’s friend so you can trust me. I just want to take a look. You don't have to take it off.”

She hesitantly held out her arm and the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, scanning it and glancing at the reading.

“Thank You Veesha,” he said kindly. “Shall we go find Missy now?”

“Yes!” she smiled as she grabbed the Doctor's hand.

The Doctor, hesitant to bring Veesha straight to Missy when he was unsure of her current state of mind, decided to deposit her safety with Nardole first while he talked to Missy.

It took far longer than he had anticipated as a very excitable child had asked what felt like 362 questions about why the TARDIS was bigger on the inside, and if she could use the swimming pool, and where the cinema was, he was relieved to eventually find Nardole back in the console room.

Nardole looked up, surprised, “I thought we had everyone off. The scans were clear,” he said, frowning at a screen on the console.

“There's no-one else still here, I brought her in. She's a friend of Missy, but I want to check on Missy before I take her to see her. I know you'll find some fun things to do together,” the Doctor said, as he waited at the door. Apparently Missy has a cinema around here somewhere.”

Nardole shook his head and sighed, following the Doctor out of the console room.

The Doctor quickly made his exit, heading straight to the library, and Nardole glanced  at the little girl with curiosity, “she's your friend is she? That's new. What kind of things do you do together then?”

Veesha giggled, “she does my hair really nice and she gave me a superhero power for my birthday.”

He pushed open a door to reveal a room reminiscent of an elegant summer house - a table in the centre set with a selection of cakes on an ornate metal stand. Large doors stood open to a garden where a pathway wound around it, disappearing into trees at the back.

“Well, not a cinema but looks nice. Let's wait here for a bit,” he sat at the table and Veesha joined him, looking hungrily a the cake stand.

“Oh you go ahead, but tell me what kind of superpower she gave you. Do I need to keep you away from flammable objects? Or...oh! Can you levitate? That might be useful.”

Veesha laughed, as she picked up a cake. “Your name's Nardole isn't it? You're funny when you're worried, just like Missy said you were!"

She giggled, "My superpower is disappearing.  Want me to show you?”

“No! Definitely not. Don't disappear! Stay right where you are.”

His look of momentary panic caused her to have a big fit of giggles, and Nardole looked at the door, hoping the Doctor would hurry up before he had to inform him that his charge had disappeared into thin air within minutes of his babysitting stint.

The Doctor smiled warmly at Missy as he stood in front of her, leaning down to take her hands in his. “I know you're grieving a lot of lives, but you saved so many too. You really did.”

“It wasn't enough,” she said despondent. "Are they all out now? Is it time to go?"

“Missy, it was enough,” he said, pulling her to her feet. “Come with me.”

“Why?” she asked.

He smiled, “the teleport bracelet you gave Veesha - we must have a talk about appropriate gifts for human children at some point - but the bracelet saved her life. She got out, she used the bracelet and saved herself.”

Missys eyes grew wide, hope flooding her senses as she felt instantly light headed, “she's alive?”

“Yes, she is,” he said as he inched closer and placed a kiss in her forehead, “and she’s waiting to see you. Come on, i'll take you to her.”

Missy stared at him, stunned as she processed his words, scared to let herself believe them, “she teleported out in time? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am. She's here right now,” he said, stepping back and keeping hold of one of her hands. “You did enough Missy. You saved a lot of people, and you saved Veesha too.”

Missy wasted no time and left the library, her heart's full of hope as she walked quickly through her TARDIS corridors, barely even noticing that the Doctors hand was still in hers.

Suddenly she froze as Veesha rounded the corner, giggling and almost colliding with her as Nardole caught up, “Missy!” she said happily. “I missed you!”

The Doctor let go of her hand and stepped back, watching as Veesha flung her arms around her.

Missy closed her eyes as relief flooded through her. She crouched down, returning the little girls hug before standing, pulling her up into her in her arms.

“You are a _very_ clever girl. I'm proud of you,” Missy said, as she held her. “You remembered what I told you.”

“Yep. Only use it if I'm in danger, or to win at games,” she beamed proudly.

The Doctor bit back the response that was on the tip of his tongue about appropriate values to teach a child, but couldn't help smiling. He had only glimpsed that side of Missy briefly, and it warmed his hearts to witness such a moment of genuine care for a another person - particularly toward a human.

“SO proud of you," she smiled as she spun around with her in her arms, causing Veesha to giggle joyfully.

"Thanks Missy," she said proudly, before looking at her and frowning. “What's wrong? Why are you crying?”

Missy smiled, “not a clue dear. But don't worry. I'm happy. _So_ happy that you're OK.”

Missy spent almost four hours outside ensuring Veesha would be taken care of, and not leaving until she was absolutely certain that everything was in place for her. The Doctor stole a glance and smiled when he saw her singing as she styled Veesha’s hair in a similar fashion to her own.  He assumed she had requested it, wanting to emulate her. He considered that Missy had probably never experienced somebody wanting to be just like her, or that her praise could mean so much to another person.

He busied himself studying her console at that point, not wanting to be observing something so personal without her knowledge.

As he laid under the console, he noticed a cable that he really wasn't certain of the purpose, and he made a mental note to ask Missy about it. Considering she had not been inside her TARDIS for such a long expanse of time, there were considerable upgrades, most of which he could work out the function of, but some that he was unsure of. He hoped she would talk him through it, she was always better at the intricacies of a TARDIS’s inner workings than he had been.

He turned his head and caught sight of her umbrella propped up in a intricately carved wooden stand. He realised it had been a plain black stand only moments before, and smiled, appreciating that her TARDIS was happy that she was home - adapting the small details to suit her tastes.

When she eventually returned, the Doctor  was relieved by the shift he saw straight away. She no longer appeared despondent and light had returned to her eyes. He knew that Veesha had been the cause of that, but that Missy still carried so much responsibly for so many other deaths. It was fragile ground that she walked on and he hoped she would let him help her through it.

They stood at the console and stared wordlessly at each other. He remained silent, giving her the space she needed to form her thoughts.

“I can go anywhere I want to,” she said simply.

“Yes, you could,” he replied.

Her eyes met his, uncertainty tinged with a sudden vulnerability that he was not used to seeing from her.

She stepped closer to him, “Before I knew she was alive...I wasn't leaving for the right reasons. I just wanted to disappear, and the urge to just see something explode into flames was all I could concentrate on. I've never felt so empty.”

“That's grief Missy. It feels like it will swallow you whole. Consume you totally. Being alone, cutting yourself off makes it considerably worse...maybe dangerously so.”

“People I tried to help still died, _because_ of me. Why do you do it? Why do you always try to save them, when there's so much loss? Why don't you just run to the furthest star and not get involved?” she said.

He stepped closer, taking her hands in his. Her eyes softened as she looked at him.

 _“You_ know why, because you spent months keeping people safe... _from_ you. It matters. Life - it matters, and it ends too soon for most other species. You _know_   they are not just pets, or insignificant - Veesha thinks the world of you.

He raised a hand to stroke her cheek gently, “you were kind to her.”

Missy took a deep and steadying breath, determined to keep her emotions in check and say what she needed to.

“I'm afraid Doctor. Of what I'm capable of. I don't think I can be alone right now. But I'm not going back to the vault, and I'm not going to remain on earth. I just can't spend anymore time in one place.”

He leaned forward placing a kiss on her head, “I wouldn't do that to you. The vault isn't intended to be a living breathing persons home. You don't deserve to be imprisoned like that anymore. You have compassion and decency whether you admit it or not. You need to be among the stars, we both do. It's where Time Lords should be.”

Missy smiled, “and Time _Lady’s_ , Doctor. ”

“And Time Lady’s," he said with a smile. “I promise you we can have a different life - I'm not your jailer or your guard anymore. We can make a promise together - to help each other. I need balance, you give me that. I need you as much as you need me. We always have done really, haven't we?”

 _“Now_ you realise that! Took you long enough,” she said.

“Can we promise each other that we will be friends - help make each other better. It's not a condition. I'm not saying I won't release you if you don't agree to travel with me. It's your choice. If you choose to leave...l I hope you'll still be my friend.”

His hearts dropped as she turned away from him and started to cry silently. His fear that she wanted to walk away from him was too much. He knew he had to accept that she might want to leave, and to be content with her in his life in some form - that was better than not at all.

“I will respect your decision if you want to leave. But you know what I want…we have worlds upon worlds to travel together. My oath now is only to you; that I will take your hand while you face your demons if you will take mine when my faith and hope wavers. Because you show me that there is always hope in the darkness,” he stopped talking, feeling like he had said altogether too much. Laid himself bare, and considerably vulnerable to rejection.

She looked up, meeting his eyes, her own eyes filled with tears.

“I'm where I want to be Doctor. With you. Let's make this oath together then. As equals.”

“If you're where you want to be, then I'm honoured that you would choose to be with me,” he said, with sincerity. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her. Inching away slightly he whispered, “thank you Missy.”

They held each other. Her head resting against his shoulders, her tears this time of happiness. A sensation that confused her at first. She had become used to tears of anger, frustration and sadness, but the same reaction when happy was unexpected.

She smiled through her tears. She felt right in his embrace.

Eventually once her tears had dried and she felt considerably more focused again, she stepped out of his arms and looked at him.

“How is this going to work then? We have two TARDIS’s,” she asked.

“Well,” he said. “you like your rooms in my TARDIS and I like your library. Perhaps we spend time in both. I understand if you don't want anyone else on your TARDIS, so I wouldn't expect you to take Bill or Nardole, but they will be in mine at least some of the time.”

“Oh I don't mind them really, just as long as Egg Man keeps bringing me sweets,” she said.

“He really doesn't like that name, and leaving the vault means you lose your personal shopper,” the Doctor said, shaking his head in amusement.

“Oh well, I shall just have to hypnotise him to ensure my personal shopping needs are met then,” she said with a mischievous smile.

“No hypnotising anyone Missy....well unless it's necessary. That _is_ a very useful skill if I'm honest. You used to enjoy that in the past.”

“Yes, my past selves did enjoy it. By the way Doctor. I'm breaking off the engagement. I _did_ give it some serious consideration, but I'm dumping him - I'm sure he’ll get over... himself.”

He shook his head, not wanting to contemplate that particular paradox, and gestured to the controls, “Nardoles in the library, don't want to panic him, but as we’re here, in your TARDIS. Why don't we take a trip? Anywhere you choose.”

Missy looked with affection at the controls on her console and got to work.

He smiled, he had never felt more at home than when he was with her. Their lives had always been intertwined and paths forever crossed, but now they walked together.

Lifetimes of conflict and games, when all they really wanted was this.

She stood back, looking at the Doctor with a playful smile, “i've let her decide. Let's see where she takes us.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I had a different path I was going to take originally, but I couldn't kill Veesha and leave Missy in a dark place, as I love her too much to have her suffer!
> 
> I'm 12k into another fic at the moment. I have massive life stress going on - so will just write my way through it!


End file.
